The Horror Movie Darwin Awards#29: Kim in Don't Be Afraid of the Dark (remake)

This is one that I’m going to keep brief and detail free because the flick is still new and a lot of people haven’t seen it yet. In the remake of Don’t Be Afraid Of The Dark, Sally moves into an old gothic mansion with Alex, her father, and Kim, his girlfriend. It’s a cool place, except for the little monsters that want to kill them.

That’s them. Unpleasant little CGI buggers. They’re afraid of light, and can only attack at night in the dark. For the first part of the flick, no one believes Sally about the monsters. One night, Kim ends up finding out that the threat is real, and tells Sally that they’re going to leave. Then we cut to a scene of Kim packing. She doesn’t even seem to be in that much of a hurry. Um, what?

Sorry, it’s not on DVD yet so I couldn’t get a screen shot of the actual scene, but you get the point. There are things in the house that want to do horrible things to you. It’s night. They attack at night. They don’t attack during the day. If you leave now, you can come back at dawn, which is only a few hours away, and pack at your leisure. Why the hell would you stick around and pack tonight? Explain that logic to me. What could you possibly need for the next few hours that is important enough to risk death? She’s putting clothes into a suitcase. Why? You can wear that outfit until morning.

I’m not going to tell you whether or not anyone dies due to this little piece of idiocy. I won’t ruin it, because you should all see this film. It’s pretty good. Regardless of whether Kim’s astounding indiscretion proved fatal, it just makes no sense at all. I guess making sure you have your pajamas is more important than going ahead and getting the hell out of a house where you’re probably going to die. Jeez, scientologists. Congratulations Kim, you are today’s winner by virtue of your completely bass-ackwards sense of priorities and urgency. Way to go dumbass!