The Horror Movie Darwin Awards #8: The Rapists in I Spit On Your Grave

There are few movies more reviled by opponents of extreme exploitation cinema than I Spit On Your Grave. I think Cannibal Holocaust may be the only one actually. Maybe Serbian Film. Anyway, whether you consider it to be empowering or degrading, there is one thing that cannot be denied, the rapists get what’s coming to them because of their absolute arrogant stupidity.

Jennifer is a writer who rents a house in the middle of nowhere to work on her new book. Her writing time is, shall we say, interrupted when she is gang raped by four local yokels (Johnny, Stanley, Andy, and Matthew) in a grueling 35 minute scene. I’m not sure, but I think, barring fetish porn, that might be the longest rape scene in history. Anyway, take a look at this poor lady’s face…

I think it’s pretty clear that she is not having a good time. Remember that, it will be important later. The guy they send back to kill her can’t bring himself to do it, but tells the others that he did. They all go about their normal routines, until she shows back up. Then, one by one, she seduces and kills them. She…woah, hold on a second. She does what? Seduces them? What are these halfwits thinking? The second that she started coming on to them, did that not set off every one of the warning bells in their empty heads?

The best case scenario for them is that she really did enjoy herself and now she wants more. In that case it means that she’s nuts and probably a chick you want to steer clear of. Who would think that though? These guys are deplorable, but apparently they’re dumber than dirt to boot. To think “Damn, I’m so good that she wants me to do it again” is ludicrous. If I were a rapist and the girl came back wanting more, my first thought would be “She’s trying to lure me into a compromising position so she can get revenge.” At the very least, I would have that “something isn’t right” feeling. Not these guys.

Now Matthew is mentally deficient, so I can’t really hold being a moron against him. The other three though? Are you kidding me? What arrogant dipshits! Especially Johnny. He gets in the car with her, and she pulls a gun on him and orders him to strip. So he tells her that the rape was her fault. She appears to have a change of heart and invites him back to the house. How do you fall for that? While I do enjoy seeing these lowlifes get what they deserve, the way they got it blows my mind. So boys, how did that whole “hell yeah, she liked it” thing work out for you?

Castrated in the bathtub huh? How fitting. You kinda brought that one on yourself, now didn’t ‘ya Johnny. His buddies got hanged, axed, and shredded with an outboard motor. I know the “feminine wiles” have strange powers over men, but you, sir, must be braindead. Congratulations fellas, you are today’s winners for falling for one of the most implausible ruses in history, and apparently having an incredible unfounded faith in the persuasive power of your wiener. He he he, wiener. Way to go dumbasses!