All the horror you can handle!
I know, I know. I can hear the collective gasp now. How could I possibly hate on Leatherface? Have I turned my back on my brother? What happened to "the saw was family?" If you missed it you can read about the sibling status of Leatherface and I at this link: 30 Day Horror Challenge Strikes Back Day 7: Favorite villain (human). Why him then? Why not any random pale, black haired Japanese horror ghost child, the Gingerdead Man, that irritating kid from Childs Play 3, Kelly Roland in Freddy vs Jason, Busta Rhymes (well, the entire cast actually) in Halloween: Resurrection, or any other horror character I’ve bitched about being annoyed by over the years? It’s precisely because Leatherface is normally in my top tier of favorite horror characters. They absolutely screwed the character up in Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation, however, to the point that I felt the need to pick this character in order to, in some small way, avenge the mistreatment of my brother.
This is by far the worst version of Leatherface ever. I had SERIOUS issues with his portrayal in the remake, mainly stemming from the fact that Jessica friggin’ Beil could take his arm off and he couldn’t start a saw one handed. At least there, though, they kept the spirit of the character consistent with the cannibal butcher we all know and love. This guy in TCM:TNG, however, is not Leatherface as we know him. Not by a long shot. Leatherface is a seasoned killer, a manic, violent psycho, and a generally frightening dude. In this film he’s incompetent at capturing prey, seems uncomfortable with violence, and is an absolute non-threatening doormat.
First of all, Leatherface’s incompetence in this flick completely goes against everything we know about the character. In one scene, he snatches a girl, carries her through the house, places her in a freezer, and turns to walk away. Then he acts surprised and panicked when she opens the door back up. Then he does the same thing again before placing a heavy item (it’s tough to tell what it is) on the door to keep her in the third time. Look, I know Leatherface is supposed to be mentally deficient, but come on. He’s been around this block a few times. Trapping and killing is what he’s good at. He would definitely know that if you place a kicking, screaming, hysterical person in anything without a lock, they will try to reopen it. He’s mentally challenged folks, not stupid. See, I said mentally challenged, not retarded. I’ve already been accused of being racist and sexist, I might as well not be accused of being prejudiced against the disabled too. Jeez people, chill.
Anyway, in TCM:TNG, pardon my French, Leatherface is a straight up pussy. The entire family assaults him repeatedly. Sure, he was on the bottom of the totem pole in the family all along, but he took it like a little brother would; he just kinda growled at them and went on. Here, he cries, whimpers, and cowers. What? Leatherface is basically playing the role of an abused housewife. At one point he gets up to attack Renee Zellweger’s character and she tells him to sit down and shut up. He does it! Even with Stretch, the one girl he loved, he never let his victims call the shots. Here, everyone calls the shots but him. He’s an absolute wimp. That is not how one of the greatest killers in cinema history is supposed to be portrayed. Leatherface always had the air about him that you didn’t want to mess with this sick freak whether he had his saw or not. In TCM:TNG, when he’s holding the damn saw is the only time he’s even remotely menacing.
Which brings me to the fact that he’s hesitant to be violent. He has never had a problem destroying anyone’s personal physical being at the drop of a hat. Here, he whimpers and cries when performing any act of violence. When one of the victims is assaulting Vilmer, Leatherface’s brother, he just stands there, saw in hand, watching nervously, and doesn’t do a damn thing. I don’t think so! Leatherface would have been all over her the second she laid a hand on a family member. When she runs out of the house, Vilmer has to order Leatherface to go get her before he will chase her. BULLSHIT! When she kills a family member, he gives up the chase and starts sobbing and wailing instead of chasing her down and making her pay. That’s not Leatherface type behavior!
Oh yeah, and what’s with this sneaking around crap? Numerous times in this movie Leatherface sneaks up on someone. Leatherface is not a stealth killer. Leatherface is a giant brute who comes at you full force. He’s supposed to be a manic lunatic too. His whole demure behavior at the dinner table is completely out of character. He’s downright dainty for crying out loud! The shrieking is another thing. All throughout the series, Leatherface has made guttural noises, sometimes a shriek, that made him that much creepier. In this one, other than at dinner, he shrieks the whole freakin’ movie. Imagine that you are telling a friend about a woman who constantly screams, but you are overemphasizing the shrillness and annoyance factor to the nth degree to really get the point across. That’s what he sounds like in this flick. It takes about a minute of him being on screen before you just want to yell “For the love of god, would you please shut the hell up?!” Seriously, he’s almost as annoying as Franklin was in the first one. It’s that bad.
I’m not even going to go into how incredibly lame his masks in this one are either. Well, maybe a little. In the first movie, Leatherface had three masks: the killing mask, the grandmother, and the pretty lady. This is them…
All three of them are creepy as hell. In this flick they use the exact same three “characters” for the masks (grandmother, pretty lady, and killing), but look at the masks themselves in the pics from this movie. Not even close. Is there anything even remotely scary about those masks? No. They suck. The images speak for themselves, however, so I’ll leave it at that.
I differ from the vast majority of my movie reviewing peers in that I don’t think that Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation is a bad movie. In fact, I like it a lot. The members of the new family (other than Leatherface) are all interesting characters. Matthew McConaughey plays a very good over the top psycho. It’s one of those whacked out movies where you just never know what kind of weirdness is coming next. The flick also has a fun, twisted, brutally sadistic streak running through it. The whole concept of who is controlling the family (don’t worry, I won’t give it away) is a fascinating idea that I’d love to see explored further. The ending has a cool call back to the original classic. I can even forgive the bad acting by some of the younger cast. In fact, the one thing they messed up on was the character of Leatherface; and boy did they screw him up royally. This is the character that the whole damn franchise is based on and they decided to abandon almost everything audiences love about the character. Bad move guys. When I watch this movie, I can only shake my head and be disgusted thinking about how great the flick would have been had they stayed true to the character. What a missed opportunity. If I didn’t love my brother so much, this characterization of him wouldn’t have pissed me off so much. Don’t worry Bubba, I’ll always love ya, and I know that wasn’t really you in this movie. He is one of my favorites, but his mishandling here makes Leatherface in this film my least favorite horror character. You have no idea how much it hurts me to say that.
My favorite human killer is, without a doubt, Leatherface. Not the remake Leatherface. He sucks. I’m talking Leatherface from the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre until The Next Generation. He’s my favorite for two reasons. First of all, he’s a fascinating character. He’s a freakin’ murderous cannibal who wears a mask made of human faces! What else can you say? Well, a lot actually. Based on Ed Gein, himself one of the most fascinating real life characters in history, Leatherface is a psychologist’s dream. Throughout the series we get multiple personalities, suspended childhood, gender identification issues, dysfunctional family dynamics, and about a thousand other psychoses. I tried really hard in multiple abnormal psych classes to get my professors to let me psychoanalyze Leatherface for a project. Unfortunately, I was not successful. Anyone that just thinks Bubba’s (yes, we are on a first name basis) just a backwoods retard with power tools has completely missed the point. I don’t have to tell you that though. You guys are all smart cookies.
More important to me is the second reason. It’s the fact that I have a personal connection with Leatherface. I feel a special kinship with him above all other horror characters. You see, since the saw is family, we’re brothers. Let me explain.
That’s me. There are actually quite a few people who know me as “Chainsaw Nate.” Ever since I was a boy I’ve worked in haunted attractions. In fact, I was only 12 the first time I ever chased someone with a chainsaw. I’ll never forget that moment; the vibrations coursing up my young arms, the roar of the saw in my ears, the smell of gas fumes wafting up at me, the grown woman screaming in terror before me. I was hooked. This was at a place called The Chilling Fields. I worked there for a few years, only getting to run the saw occasionally due to my age. After a season playing Jason at the Haunted Trail, I went to Blood Oaks when I was 17. Here, I was free to explore just what the saw and I could do together. I would chase people out the back door and through the parking lot. I lost count of the people who peed themselves. I learned that, just like in horror flicks, people tend to fall down when a big guy with a chainsaw is chasing them. I’ve made people faint. My coworkers all agreed that I enjoyed wielding the saw just a little too much.
Then in 1999, after Blood Oaks went out of business I went to Netherworld, the greatest haunted house in America. Just ask Fangoria, they rated us number one. Anyway, the owners were dead set against chainsaws. They thought it was a cheap scare. Two years later, they decided to try it out. I think my pestering had something to do with it. They knew just whose hands to put it into. From that moment on, I did nothing else for the next five years. I hate to sound like I’m bragging, but me and the saws became legendary. We terrorized people. I could tell you stories, but we’d be here for days. I kinda became infamous for a couple of things. I could start a saw in each hand simultaneously. I could start a saw behind my back without the person in front of me even knowing I had one. We had five saws, all the same model. I named them all and could tell them apart just by the sound of their motor.
I even sorta worried some of the people at the haunt. I used to talk to the saws and kiss them goodnight at the end of the night. I admit, and this is the first time I’ve admitted this anywhere, I did it partly to freak out some people who are hard to freak out. I also did it because I truly had a relationship with those saws. I compare it to the relationship a guitar player might have with a special guitar. Me and those saws worked together night after night, and I was extremely attached to them. Later, I tore my knee to shreds. How? You guessed it, chasing people with a chainsaw. Now, sadly, long nights of chasing people aren’t a reality any more. I recently moved back to Atlanta and rejoined my Netherworld family. I’ve had to take on other roles, but I still play with my babies from time to time.
There are probably some of you out there who think I sound kinda strange. You wouldn’t be the first person to tell me that. I know the power and romance of the chainsaw. Leatherface does too. When I went to see the remake and Jessica Beal chopped his arm off, I was pissed. When he couldn’t use the saw, I knew that wasn’t the real Leatherface. If I can start a chainsaw one handed, dammit, he can too. We have a lot of other similarities. We have similar body types. We both love barbecue. At least as of part 3, we both wear knee braces. The lure of the chainsaw, however, is what makes us brothers, and why he’s my favorite. The saw truly is family.
