Friday, October 21, 2011

The Horror Movie Darwin Awards #11: Everyone in Zombies of Mora Tau

This one isn’t going to take long, because the idiocy of this one is very simple. It’s not something stupid that these people did, it’s what they didn’t do that earned them the award. In the underrated flick The Zombies of Mora Tau, some undead sailors are guarding a stash of cursed diamonds in a shipwreck. Greed reigns supreme, of course, so not stealing the diamonds is not an option. If only there was some way to destroy these zombies. They only have one weakness, they are afraid of fire. The old woman who lives on the island makes the point repeatedly that fire is the only thing that they are afraid of. They are so arsonphobic that a candle will send them shuffling away in terror. There’s only one reason why any creature would be afraid of fire, and that would be because they are FLAMMABLE! Pretty obvious, huh? Apparently not. They shoot flareguns around the zombies, wave torches at them, and set a fire at the door of their lair to keep them inside; but never once does anyone even attempt to set a zombie on fire. With no zombies the diamonds would be unguarded, but instead you’d rather brave the walking dead to steal them instead of thinking this through and at least lighting one to see what happens. So, how did that work out for you?

Zombies are attacking you, members of your party are dead, and in the end you still don’t have any diamonds to show for it. Diane from Jaws 2 got inducted for trying to “kill it with fire” when she shouldn’t, now these mental midgets aren’t even trying it when it’s the most logical thing to do. There’s got to be a happy medium. Congratulations everyone, you are today’s winners by virtue of not a single one of you thinking to exploit the zombie’s only weakness. Way to go dumbasses!

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