SOC News Network: Lords of Salem, Crystal Lake Memories, Pegg & Frost, and more.

As you can all tell, I don’t do a lot of “news reporting” on Son of Celluloid. I prefer to focus on reviews, interviews, giveaways, and the occasional editorial rant. Why is that? Well for one thing, a lot of the news that comes down the pike is actually just rumors about movies that never see the light of day. That annoys the hell out of me. The main reason, however, is that I simply don’t have the time to discuss every little still that’s released from the set of the next horror flick or who is attached to what script at the moment. This week, however, a lot of cool stuff was announced that got my cold little geek heart racing, so I thought I’d share a few of them with you.

First off I got an email informing me that a really cool flick I got to check out last year called The Tortured is finally going to be widely available on VOD tomorrow thanks to IFC Midnight. I recommend checking this one out. The story goes a little something like this…”Craig (Jesse Metcalfe) and Elise (Erika Christensen) had all the ingredients for an ideal life: a great marriage, a wonderful five-year-old son, a charming home and a bright future. Then, on one sunny day, their perfect world is irrevocably shattered . Leaving their five year old son, Ben, alone for only a moment, Craig is horrified to see him being abducted from their own front yard. Sadly, the desperate police search for the kidnapper proves to be in vain when the child is found dead. Craig is wracked with guilt and Elise cannot forgive him. Their relationship crumbles under the strain and Elise moves out – leaving each of them alone in their private hell. Months later, a chance tip leads police to the suspect’s door, catching him red-handed with another victim. Although Ben’s murderer is soon brought to trial, the grieving parents are stunned when his sentence is considerably reduced by a plea bargain. Utterly shocked and reunited by their outrage, Craig and Elise agree that they cannot live another day until they rectify this miscarriage of justice. Together they decide to seek their own retribution, hatching a plot to kidnap the man and subject him to the same monstrous acts he perpetrated against their helpless son.” Not convinced yet? Well, its got cameos from Bill Moseley and J. Larose. Yeah, even if the movie sucked, which it doesn’t, Moseley can get me to watch damn near anything. Here’s the trailer…

Speaking of trailers, Maynard of Maynard Morrissey’s Horror Movie Diary brought this one to my attention. It’s for a flick called Excision. It premiered at Sundance and doesn’t have a release date yet, but after seeing this trailer, I’m definitely keeping an eye out for it. It’s a bizarre coming of age story starring AnnaLynne McCord, Traci Lords, Malcolm McDowell, and John Waters. Did I mention all the tits and blood? Here’s the trailer. Warning, it’s NSFW.

It looks like the boys that brought us Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz are at it again. According to Bloody Disgusting, The World’s End, written my Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg, Directed by Wright, and starring Pegg and Nick Frost is scheduled to go before the camera soon with a goal of releasing the film in Spring 2013. Here’s the synopsis: “20 years after attempting an epic pub crawl, five childhood friends reunite when one of them becomes hell bent on trying the drinking marathon again. They are convinced to stage an encore by mate Gary King, a 40-year old man trapped at the cigarette end of his teens, who drags his reluctant pals to their home town and once again attempts to reach the fabled pub, The World’s End. As they attempt to reconcile the past and present, they realize the real struggle is for the future, not just theirs but humankind’s. Reaching The World’s End is the least of their worries.” Here’s a link to the original story: http://bloody-disgusting.com/news/3141680/hell-yes-edgar-wright-starts-filming-the-worlds-end-in-september-simon-pegg-and-nick-frost-to-star/

It’s ridiculous how excited I am about Lords of Salem, and it looks like we’re one step closer to the project finally seeing the light of day. Word is that postproduction finished a couple of weeks ago. Furthermore, the first official trailer will premiere at the Rob Zombie/Megadeth concert on Friday, May 11th at the PNC Bank Arts Center in New Jersey. I'm sure the trailer will hit the web in no time, but seeing the premiere in the atmosphere of a metal show would be absolutely killer. Lucky Bastards. Here’s a link to the official announcement: http://robzombie.com/2012/05/the-lords-of-salem-trailer-will-premiere-on-friday-at-the-pnc-banks-center/

Finally, the crew behind Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy, which is the standard of excellence by which all horror documentaries and retrospectives are judged, are taking on everyone’s favorite bad swimmer next. Production has begun on Crystal Lake Memories: The Complete History of Friday the 13^th. It was recently announced that Corey Feldman, aka Tommy Jarvis himself, is going to be narrating, much like Heather Lagencamp did in Never Sleep Again. It’s due for a “late 2012” release. I can’t wait for this. If it does end up coming out this year ad is anything like Never Sleep Again, those on my top 10 list so far for the year just might be in trouble. You can follow the production and get all the updates on the release at the film’s official facebook page HERE.

The Horror Movie Darwin Awards # 19: Julius in Friday the 13th 8

Let’s get ready to rumble! In Friday the 13^th 8, Jason takes Manhattan. Well, he actually doesn’t take any city until the last fifteen minutes of the movie. Until then, it’s Jason running amok on a boat. He’s on a boat. Everybody look at Jason, ‘cause he’s sailing on a boat. But this ain’t Seaworld, this is real as it gets, Jason’s on a boat motherf…ok, I’ll stop. I couldn’t help myself. Anyway, Jason is knocking off high schoolers on their senior trip. Amongst them is Julius, a boxer. Julius manages to make it to New York. By the way, tonight the role of New York will be played by Vancouver. Jason stalks Julius and his friends through the streets. Julius tries to escape to a rooftop via a ladder, but Jason follows him and the two square off. What would you do at this point? Personally, I think I’d probably take a flying leap off of the building, considering I have a better chance of surviving that than whatever Jason is about to do to me. Julius, however, must have taken a few too many blows to the head, because he decides to box Jason.

I had to put that picture there just so you know that I’m not kidding. We’ve seen various characters try to take Jason on before, but not in bare knuckle fisticuffs. What the hell could have possibly made you think that was a good idea? Lets forget for the moment that he’s a lot bigger and stronger than you. Let’s even forget that he’s Jason F’n Voorhees, the unstoppable undead killing machine. Why would you ever punch anyone in the face while they’re wearing a goalie mask? Sounds like a good way to break your hand to me. Oh look, that’s exactly what happened. Jason pulls a little rope-a-dope and lets Julius punch himself out. Spent and with destroyed dukes, Julius tells Jason to take his best shot. So, how did that work out for ‘ya tough guy?

Ouch! That’s gotta sting like a bee. I’m no expert on the pugilistic arts, but I’m going to call this one a TKO. I think Glass Joe could have done a better job. Congratulations Julius, you are today’s winner by virtue of your bright idea to box Jason Voorhees. What else could you say about that, except, of course, Way to go dumbass!

Heads Up! Cheap Horror Movie T-Shirts At Wal-Mart.

Just thought I'd share this with you guys. If you're anything like me, cheap horror swag is definitely something to pique your interest. Wal-mart usually has a couple of cool Halloween shirts mixed in with the cheesy "jack-o-lantern face" and "forget the candy, give me beer" crap. I've found some there over the years that I still wear often. So, while on a run for super glue, ice cream, syringes, a note pad, vitamin c tablets, and a hammer (don't ask) I decided to have a look at this year's selection and saw these...


Yeah, I know, those aren't the best pictures, but I was in a hurry. The shirts are pretty sweet though. The Freddy vs. Jason one is cool, but probably the weakest of the 3. I really dig that Friday the 13th one. The Nightmare on Elm Street one stopped me cold for a second. I knew I had seen that particular image of Freddy before, but I just couldn't put my finger on it. Then it hit me....


It's the title screen from the Nightmare on Elm Street Nintendo game, with the bus from part 2 thrown in for good measure. Awesome! Anyway, check your local store, as some Wal-marts have these and others don't. They're only $7.50 too, so grab them while you can. Just a friendly word of advice though, these shirts are by a different company than the one who produces their other shirts, and they run small as hell. Buy a size up from the size you normally wear. If I see more Halloween badassery lurking on the shelves of various stores, I'll let you know. Oh, and one last thing...

♫ 40 days 'til Halloween, Halloween, Halloween, 40 days 'til Halloween, Silver Shamrock. ♫