Wednesday, July 11, 2018


*This article originally appeared in Fangoria Issue 325 (August 2013)

When news of Jesus Franco’s death emerged, fringe-cinema fans worldwide planned tributes to the master of erotic horror. Among them was Dear God No! director and exploitation historian James Bickert. On April 5th, his amazing backyard drive-in played host to the Dusk ‘til Dawn Memorial Franco-thon. Drinks flowed freely, mysterious smoked meats were savored Countess Perverse style, and the Atlanta horror scene praised Jesus under the stars all night long. It’s doubtful that any party could more perfectly capture the same perverse beauty, sleazy atmosphere, and propensity to veer into “what the hell just happened?” territory at a moment’s notice that exemplified the style of the euro-trash auteur.
The marathon kicked off with one of his glossier films, Venus in Furs (1969). The Franco-philes proclaimed their appreciation for the bizarre visuals and dream logic while failing miserably at explaining the barely existent plot to the uninitiated. The heavy doses of sex and jazz were enough to please both camps, eliciting repeated chants of “horns and boobs!” Following Venus was the incredibly sexy Eugenie De Sade (1974) starring the smolderingly gorgeous Soledad Miranda (Franco’s first muse).
Perhaps Eugenie set the bar too high as Sinner (1972), a flick surprisingly few there had seen, couldn’t follow and failed to impress. Despite also being known as Diary of a Nymphomaniac, it lacked sufficiently in both gore and nudity that mob rule led to the film being axed. At that point, the evening took a cue from Franco and careened into the unexplainable and absurd.
The next thing anyone knew, Bloody Bloody Bible Camp had somehow snuck into the playlist. Sometime during that movie, a pack of dogs… yes, actual wild dogs, tried to steal a pork shoulder from the grill. The meat was successfully defended, but it was obviously a sign that we had angered the cinema gods. How to Seduce a Virgin (1974) brought things back to the honoree, playing almost like a satisfying “greatest hits” package of tried and true Franco tropes. Then it was on to hardcore horror with Jack the Ripper (1976), one of his goriest pictures. It was also the nights’ first on screen appearance by the luscious Lina Romay.
After exploring Franco’s softcore and horror sides, and having been exposed to more Klaus Kinski than is probably healthy, we knew that there was only one facet of Franco’s career left to explore. In the wee hours of the morning, we went headlong into XXX territory with Entre Pitos Anda el Juego (1986). The things Romay does in that flick cannot be described in a respectable magazine such as this.
Juliette was to be the last film of the night. In a fitting call back to the way many of us first discovered Franco’s oeuvre, we watched a bootleg VHS with no subtitles. As the impending daybreak threatened to end the party, the grand finale was prepared. It was time to send the inflatable effigy of Lina Romay (think Bartel’s Private Parts) that had been our guest of honor all evening to meet Jesus in the heavens.  While it is true that she died in 2012, this was not a crowd that would let technicalities stand in the way of a grand dramatic gesture. The fact that a blow up doll filled with helium will not float wouldn’t stop the proceedings either. Anything will fly if you attach enough balloons to it, and fly she did. As a final toast was raised to Franco and his leading lady disappeared into the clouds, everyone felt exactly how one should feel after a Franco flick; a little confused, thoroughly debauched, strangely edified, and undeniably entertained.

Hall of Fame - The Hills Have Eyes

*This article originally appeared in issue 37 of HorrorHound Magazine

In the 2000’s, Wes Craven is considered one of the elder statesmen of horror.  In the 80’s and 90’s, he was known as a hit-maker and master of his craft.  In the 70’s, however, Craven was a young maverick with a cinematic mean streak who refused to pull his punches.  It was this Craven that gave us two of the genre’s most ferocious and visceral classics, Last House on the Left and The Hills Have Eyes.  Both are tales of warring families.  In Last House, the violence stems from a desire for sick kicks on one side and vengeance on the other.  In Hills, the opposing clans are locked in a tribal battle simply for survival.  Last House may be horror at its most depraved, but The Hills Have Eyes is horror at its most primal.

It’s the story of The Carter family, three generations of which are traveling cross-country.  While traversing the Nevada desert, they ignore a local’s advice to “stay on the main road” (don’t they always?) and find themselves stranded in the middle of a hostile, barren landscape.  Even more dangerous than the terrain is the primitive, feral group of cannibals (led by Papa Jupiter) that is hunting them down.  Out of their element and backed into a corner, they are forced into a savage kill-or-be-killed battle; leaving this peaceful family no choice but to delve into their darkest primordial instincts to protect themselves, and their loved ones, from their animalistic attackers.

Originally titled “Blood Relations: The Sun Wars” and inspired by the legend of Sawney Bean and his Scottish family of flesh eaters, Hills was slapped with an X rating by the MPAA when it was released in 1977.  Extensive cuts were made, and that footage is now believed to be lost, but the brutal power of the film still remains.  One needs look no further than the infamous “camper scene” to see the intensity Craven imbues his film with.  In one single scene a man is burned alive, a grandmother and a young mother are shot, another woman is raped, and a baby is abducted to be eaten later.  It’s as if Wes wanted to see just how many taboos he could break in one scene.  Today’s jaded horror audiences may have seen it all, but watch this film in a packed theater and see if it doesn’t still pack a wallop for the modern audience.  In ’77, however, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre was really the only film that had even come close to this kind of merciless violence.  Interestingly, in addition to thematic similarities, these two films share an art director (Bob Burns) and some of the same set dressings. 

While 70’s horror was predominantly concerned with the demonic and supernatural, Hills offered up realistic human-on-human cruelty.  No stylized violence here.  The down and dirty murder and mayhem on display in Hills wasn’t meant to be observed, it was designed to be felt.  No one was safe.  The first death in the film is a German Shepherd.  The disemboweling of the family dog was Craven’s way of throwing down the gauntlet and letting the viewer know that he wasn’t playing by the rules.  The audience couldn’t help but wonder, “If he would kill a dog, would he kill a baby?”  In fact, infanticide was actually considered at one point, with the cast and crew threatening “if he kills the baby, we’re outta here.”

In addition to proving that this Craven kid was no one hit wonder, Hills kick started the careers of two other horror icons.  Dee Wallace, who previously had a bit part in The Stepford Wives, got her big break in Hills before going on to star in such landmark fright flicks as The Howling and Cujo.  After making his screen debut in One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest, Michael Berryman made his first foray into the macabre with Hills.  He has since become a mainstay in the horror genre and frequent convention guest, but Pluto is still arguably the role he is best known for.  Coincidentally, his is probably the image most closely associated with the film today.

The Hills Have Eyes was a modest success upon its initial release.  It did well enough to spawn a sequel in 1985, which was directed and later disowned by Craven.  Mind Ripper, released in 1995, was marketed in some areas as The Hills Have Eyes 3 (or The Hills Still Have Eyes) despite having absolutely nothing to do with the series.  The original Hills has since become a revered cult classic, gaining a new following during the home video boom of the 80’s.  One interesting indication of the film’s place in horror history is the presence of a torn The Hills Have Eyes poster on the basement wall in The Evil Dead, although it’s unclear whether this is an homage to the film in general or a call back to the torn Jaws poster in the Carter’s camper.  Then, in 2006, Craven and original Hills producer Peter Locke (who also played Mercury) teamed with director Alexandre Aja for a hit remake.  The remake proved popular enough to spawn its own sequel and a comic book spin-off.

The impact of The Hills Have Eyes is undeniable even three and a half decades after its release.  While “rural survival horror” had been around previously, Hills laid out a lot of the template for the “you folks don’t belong ‘round these parts” style flicks that would follow.  The legacy of Craven’s classic slice of wilderness brutality can be felt in films from Just Before Dawn all the way up through Wrong Turn and, in a role reversal, The Woman.  As long as city slickers foolishly stray into unfamiliar territory - and as long as marauding inbred cannibals are there to terrorize them - the specter of The Hills Have Eyes will be there, warning us to stay on the main road.  For the sake of the horror genre, I hope mankind never learns that lesson.
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