Wednesday, October 26, 2011

The Horror Movie Darwin Awards #6: Vickie in Friday the 13th Part 2

The Friday the 13th franchise has never been one that you could accuse of discrimination. Jason slaughters both sexes and all races pretty equally. If you’re there, no matter who you are, Jason will kill you. He’s like the honey badger, he don’t give a shit. He’s an equal opportunity slasher. He doesn’t even discriminate against the physically handicapped, as evidenced in Part 2. Apparently, he doesn’t discriminate against the stupid either.

Meet Mark and Vickie. Cute, aren’t they? The sexual tension between them has been palpable for the majority of the movie. While most of the camp staff head off to the bar for one last night on the town, a handful stick around. As they begin to pair off, Terri goes skinny dipping (with Scott following to watch), and Sandra and Jeff head off for “a bit of the ol’ in and out.” I don’t count either of these things as dumb unless you KNOW that you are in a Friday the 13th movie, which these particular horny teenagers obviously did not. This leaves Mark and Vickie alone. They play old school handheld video games for “position,” smoke a joint, and eventually Vickie asks why he’s in a wheelchair. Apparently a motorcycle accident paralyzed his legs. She asks the inevitable question regarding whether his other lower extremities are in working order. After being assured that he “does alright one way or another,” they decide to keep each other company for the night. While Vickie goes to “grab a few things” (aka put on prettier underwear) Mark hangs out on the porch until he takes a machete to the head, which sends him careening backwards down a long staircase and straight into a fatal freeze frame zoom shot. When Vickie gets back she walks around the house calling Mark’s name. Are you ready for the dumb part?

She looks up the stairs and calls his name. UP THE STAIRS. Wait, she’s not…

She is. She’s going upstairs to look for a guy in a wheelchair. Vickie, how, pray tell, would he have gotten up there? He’s in a damn wheelchair. There are no ramps, no lifts, and no one to assist him. That’s not just idiotic; it’s pretty damn insensitive. You’d better hope he doesn’t think you’re making fun of his paralysis. Actually, he probably doesn’t care at this point. Anyway, when she gets upstairs she finds Jason and apparently develops a paralysis of her own. She just stands there and screams for a full 15 seconds while Jason walks towards her with a knife. So, how did that work out for ‘ya?

Yeah, that’s what I thought. Congratulations Vickie, you are today’s winner by virtue of you causing your own death by looking for a paraplegic, of all places, upstairs. Way to go dumbass!

1 comment:

Fred [The Wolf] said...

I hate this chick for the very reason you posted about her. When she got stabbed, I said, "Good!" Just like Marcie in the first one, who just stands there and screams rather than run.

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