The Forgotten Master Of Horror

Wes Craven.  John Carpenter.  Dario Argento.  Herschel Gordon Lewis. George Romero.  Tobe Hooper.  Jess Franco.  Fred Olen Ray.  Hell, even Ed Wood.  These are the names you think of when someone says “Masters of Horror.”  These are the kind of filmmakers that fans adore, hungrily snapping up the latest ultimate-special-super-deluxe-limited-edition-collector’s-edition of even their schlocky, obscure titles like a bunch of rabid weasels.  Even directors like Ulli Rommel, Todd Sheets, and Charles Band, who have been responsible for more lost brain cells than all the weed Snoop could dream of, have cult followings.  But there is one man who stands shoulder to shoulder with all of these men, yet has virtually fallen through the cracks.  He is a filmmaking legend whose career has spanned six decades.  He has lent his talents to every genre, but his contributions to horror are arguably his greatest cinematic achievements.  However, his name remains largely unknown to horror fans.  I intend to rectify this grave injustice.  I will do everything in my power to ensure that none of you ever forget the name of the great Alan Smithee.

Alan (sometimes spelled Allen) Smithee has come to be known as the go to guy to step in and save the day on embattled pictures.  Almost every one of his film credits came as the result of the original director and the studio butting heads.  Smithee was always ready to offer a helping hand, seeing that these pictures got made after all by directing them himself.  He is also a master of the art of the remake.  Over the years, for one reason or another, a new version of a movie needed to be made.  Sometimes it was because the original couldn’t be shown on television in its original form.  Sometimes airlines needed a shorter version to show their passengers.  Whatever the case, Smithee would deftly remake the films with an uncanny ability to seamlessly recreate the style of the original director.  His remakes include genre flicks like Dune and The Guardian, as well as mainstream fare like Showgirls, Scent of a Woman, Heat, and The Insider.  He has worked in every conceivable facet of film, from effects and art direction to screenwriting and producing during his remarkable career.

Not much is known about Smithee’s life before his first film job.  In fact, his reclusiveness has been a running theme.  His private life is a complete mystery.  He burst into the public eye (how’s that for a mental image?) in 1969, directing a western called Death of a Gunfighter.  Don Siegel was the original director, but as would become his M.O., Smithee stepped in when problems arose between Siegel and the studio. 

Death of a Gunfighter won him acclaim from the critics.  The New York Times said the film was ““sharply directed by Allen Smithee who has an adroit facility for scanning faces and extracting sharp background detail.” No less an authority than Roger Ebert said, ““Director Allen Smithee… allows his story to unfold naturally. He never preaches, and he never lingers on the obvious.”  His career seemed to off to a great start.

That was not the case.  He did not direct another film until  a 1978 comedy called Barking Dog.  Then, after directing Gypsy Angels in 1979 (starring Vanna White as a stripper!), he worked in television throughout the early eighties.  He did have his first brush with the horror genre during this period.  Ironically, it was not as a director, but as a producer.  Michael Ritchie, original producer of the classic 1981 horror comedy Student Bodies, had to switch to the director’s chair after Mickey Rose left the project.  He called upon Smithee, who agreed to step in and assume the role of producer.

Alan would get his first taste of directing in the horror genre through tragic circumstances.  During the filming of 1983’s Twilight Zone: The Movie, an on-set helicopter crash killed co-star Vic Morrow and two child actors.  The second unit director was traumatized to the point that he could no longer be involved with the film.  Smithee, once again, stepped in to take up the slack.

His talent was displayed even in that second unit footage.  One man who saw it and knew that an underrated artist was at work was none other than Moustapha Akkad.  Akkad obviously had an eye for talent.  The Halloween series, which he produced, was well in its way to becoming one of the most successful horror franchises of all time.  But in 1985, Akkad was still smarting from the hostile reception Halloween 3 had received.  He decided to make a horror feature outside of the franchise, and recognized that Smithee was the right man for the job.  The slasher flick Appointment with Fear, also known as Deadly Presence, was the first horror feature Alan directed.  Unfortunately, it did not recapture the magic Akkad had created with Halloween.  The film tanked at the box office, and was only a modest success on home video.  To this day, it has yet to be released on DVD or Blu-ray.  Honestly, I don’t think it’s THAT bad.

Smithee returned to TV, directing episodes of The New Twilight Zone and the pilot that launched MacGyver as one of the most successful series of the eighties.  He directed a couple of forgettable TV movies as well.  Possibly remembering his positive experience producing Student Bodies, Smithee chose a horror comedy as his next genre project.  He directed Ghost Fever, starring Sherman Hemsley of The Jeffersons fame, in 1987.  It was awful.  I love me some Smithee, but this flick was just plain bad.  All the greats have missteps though.  My Soul To Take.  Ghosts of Mars.  The Card Player.  Survival of the Dead.  You know what I’m talking about.  Anyway, Smithee would only participate in one other horror project in the 80’s as one of the screenwriters of The Horror Show (aka House 3).  In the later part of the decade, he would enter a science fiction phase, directing Solar Crisis (starring Charlton Heston and Peter Boyle) and the American version of Masato Harada’s live-action manga Gunheddo. He also went back to his comfort zone, TV, for a couple of episodes of Tiny Toon Adventures.

In 1991, he decided to give horror comedy one more try.  This time he directed a masterpiece called Bloodsucking Pharaohs in Pittsburgh, which might be my favorite horror comedy of all time.  Think Airplane meets Bloodfeast meets Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers.  It’s great stuff.  I’ve always been baffled that this film isn’t more widely known than it is.  I could talk about it forever, but we need to move on.  You can read more about my thoughts on this flick at THIS LINK.  Nathan definitely says check it out.

TV movies, including The Birds 2: Land’s End (a sequel to the Hitchcock classic) followed throughout the early to mid 90’s.  He directed a supernatural thriller called Raging Angels in 1995 that has become a classic in the “so bad it’s good” category.  Check out this clip featuring a pre-Boondock Saints Sean Patrick Flannery.

1997 brought the most high profile project of Smithee’s career. Special effects bad ass Kevin Yagher decided to take a stab at directing, and his first project was Hellraiser: Bloodline.  When he and the studio couldn’t see eye to eye and he abandoned the film, there was only one man who could come in and deliver what would end up being the last good Hellraiser film.  That’s right, Alan Smithee took the reigns and took Pinhead to space.  While a lot of people hate this film with a passion that burns hotter than Courtney Love’s gonorrhea, I dig it.  After Bloodsucking Pharaohs, this is probably the second biggest jewel in Smithee’s crown.  He followed it up with two decent direct to video horror flicks; The Coroner and Le Zombi de Camp-Rouge.

In 1999, Smithee’s world came crashing down.  A parody movie about him entitled An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn was released.  This film, starring Eric Idle, proved to be so inflammatory that the Director’s Guild of America blackballed him, swearing that his name would never appear in the credits of a major motion picture again.  This proud artist was a laughing stock. He would not direct another feature throughout the first decade of the new millennium. 

In fact, he could no longer get work on a legitimate movie.  Walter Hill tried to get him to direct Supernova.  The DGA said no.  Tony Kayne tried to get him a job directing American History X.  Again the DGA said no.  Ti West tried with Cabin Fever 2.  Same story.  What was Alan to do? He made a documentary here and there, including Wadd: The Life & Times of John Holmes.  He found work in the music video field, directing clips for the likes of Whitney Houston, Faith No More, Sarah McLaughlin, Puff Daddy, The Strokes, and Destiny’s Child.  Eventually, he was reduced to making porn.  The series Alan Smithee’s Streetwalkers produced four volumes between 2004 and 2006.  Smithee unfairly languished in obscurity and ridicule for many years. 

Then, in 2011, he decided to make one more feature… and this is where the story becomes personal for me. That year, he embarked on an ambitious project known as Another Night of the Living Dead.  The zombie movie incorporated elements of the original undead classic, while new footage made it a whole new story.  The film also featured the on-screen debut of a certain horror blogger that you all know and love.  Yes, I played a ghoul in that film.  Words can’t express what an honor it was just to be on the set with such a legend.  He had amazing energy for someone making a movie 42 years after his first one, and admirable humility for someone who has seen and done as much as he has.  When I told him of my love for his earlier flicks, he just smiled sheepishly, turned back to the camera, and continued doing what he loves.  Working with him was a remarkable experience that I will treasure for a lifetime. 

Alan Smithee’s legendary career deserves far more recognition than it gets.  He’s given us a couple of great films, a few good ones, and more than a few that are pretty bad.  Throughout his oeuvre, however, his work has always been entertaining.  Alan Smithee has definitely earned the right to be listed among the greats.  This April, I implore you to check out the films of the forgotten master of horror.  Don’t be a fool.

Review: Evil Dead

It’s been a long, long time since a movie created as much pre-release speculation within the horror community as the Evil Dead remake.  Probably since House of 1000 Corpses.  Sure it’s only a remake of one of the most beloved horror flicks of the modern era, but none of the other remakes have had this kind of hype.  We all collectively groaned when it was announced.  We all caught our breath when the trailer actually looked pretty kick ass.  Then opinions diverged when stories about heavy reliance on practical effects, NC-17 ratings, Diabl-oh-for f**k’s-sake-not-that-Juno-bitch Cody, and audience reactions at SXSW started being bandied about.  One camp said that this was going to be an act of heresy and a crime against the genre.  A large contingent kept the faith that this movie was going to blow everybody away.  Then there were those like me who went in with neutral expectations.  So, how was it?  Among the group of Netherspawn I saw it with, the opinion was unanimous… groovy.

Synopsis: Are you kidding me?  It’s Evil f’n Dead!  It’s “spam in a cabin”as Joe Bob would say.  If you don’t know the basic story for this one, you are hereby ordered to report to Remedial Horror 101.

When you talk about remakes, the “is it better than the original” question always comes up.  Personally, I find that to be a fairly useless argument.  They’re not in competition.  But while I try to take remakes on their own merit and review them as their own entity, let’s face it, a comparison to the original is impossible not to make.  At their best, remakes respectfully take the basic premise of the original work and present it in the context of the current tastes and sensibilities of the movie going audience.  You know, like NOTLD ’90.  At their worst, they try to rewrite everything that was good about the original and shit on a classic film’s legacy.  That NOES debacle is a good example.  Evil Dead is the former.  If the original film had never come out, and that same story was being told for the first time today, this is exactly what we’d get.  It has enough of the spirit of the original to make it familiar, but enough of its own identity to make it fresh.  It also has just enough callbacks (ranging from brilliant to hamfisted) to Raimi’s classic to satisfy the fans.

One thing I liked was the addition of a little more backstory on the relationship between the five young people in the cabin.  One of the big plot holes in a lot of horror flicks is the whole “why didn’t they get the hell out of dodge at the first sign of weirdness” question.  That issue is dealt with in a clever way that makes complete sense.

Another change that I think was a smart move was not having Ash as a character.  Ok, ok.  I know Ash IS Evil Dead.  Hear me out though.  Let’s be honest for a second.  If they had an Ash in this flick, it would have gone over like a fart in church no matter who they cast.  No one would have accepted anyone in that role.  Bruce Campbell’s iconic performance would have been impossible to duplicate, so I think not even trying was the smartest thing the filmmakers could have done.  Instead, the basic components and trademarks of the Ash character were dispersed among the other characters.

Speaking of which, those characters are portrayed by a capable but uneven cast.  The standout is relative newcomer Jane Levy as Mia.  She killed it.   It’s not a spoiler to tell you that she becomes possessed at one point since it’s in the trailer.  She’s very good as a normal human, but she’s phenomenal as a deadite.  Shiloh Fernandez, who you might remember from Deadgirl, plays her brother and is, um…less impressive.  He tries to do a little Bruce style mugging, and it just doesn’t play out well.  He’s not bad per se, he just seems like he can’t decide whether he wants to play the role as cool or emotional.  He ends up settling on neither.  Lou Taylor Pucci, who you most likely don’t remember from an underrated flick called Carriers, is the strongest male in the cast.    He’s almost as good as Levy actually.  Jessica Lucas and Elizabeth Blackmore round out the cannon fodder.  They’re good enough when they’re normal humans, but they really come into their own when the spirits and viscera start to fly.

The biggest difference between the remake and the original is the nature of the  deadites.  In the original, the deadites are identified as demons, but they are more Bava-style monster demon than Friedkin-style satanic demon.  In the remake, they’re played a little more explicitly, particularly Mia.  She still maintains the taunting spirit of the deadites in the original, but a bit more Regan-esque.  A little more “your mother sucks cocks in hell” than “we’re gonna get you, time to go to sleep.”  It’s an interesting new twist on the formula, and I thought it definitely added a welcome new element to the proceedings.

The main thing that sets this movie apart, and what I’m sure most people will be raving about, is the gore.  In an age of neutered horror, Evil Dead doesn’t skimp on the violence.  This is the goriest flick I’ve seen in a theater since Hatchet 2, and the goriest flick to get a major theater release since…I don’t even know.  Suffice it to say that Evil Dead is a balls to the wall gorefest.  It even satisfied my bloodlust.  Hell, it even got a cringe from me.  Yes, I cringed.  The last time that happened in a theater was the needle pit scene in Saw 2.  It does a good job of walking the same fine line between playing it straight and going for splatstick that the original did.  While I officially call their “no CGI” claim into question (actually, I’m calling bullshit), 99% of the effects are practical and look fantastic.  I could keep gushing about the bloody effects (see what I did there?), but I don’t want to get into specifics.  It’s best not to know what’s coming.  If you are a gorehound like me, then the grue alone makes this an absolute must see. 

It’s definitely not a perfect flick though.  It has a new school cinematography aesthetic, especially the third person shaky cam, which you all know doesn’t sit well with me.  I’m not talking about the Sam Raimi trademark traveling shots either, although those are there. The camera is way too wobbly when there is absolutely no call for it, and it only gets shakier and more spastically edited as the action gets more intense.  Unlike in its trembly-handed bretheren, however, the camera is occasionally allowed to linger on a particular gag long enough to make your date queasy.  While some of the jump scares are deftly handled, many of them are way too telegraphed.

At about the three quarter mark, something so mind numbingly stupid happens that it nearly turned me against the movie instantly.  I mean, this was dumb as hell.  I’m gonna go ahead and blame that idea on Diablo Cody.  Only she could come up with something so mind numbingly lame.  It became a major plot point too!  There are about 5 minutes where you’ll facepalm repeatedly and think “are they really going in this direction?”  You’ll know it’s coming when you see the “MacGuyver” montage.  That’s all I’ll give away.  Don’t worry though, after this detour into “are you f**king kidding me?” territory, the flick kicks into overdrive and rides a river of red all the way to the finale.

What really put a black eye on the flick is the score.  My god was it bad.  There were a couple of times where the overdramatic music almost worked.  Almost.  Most of the time it felt like Danny Elfman trying to be scary.  It just sounded goofy as hell and distracted me from the movie.  Then they kept repeating this siren-like noise that didn’t fit into the scene at all.  With the original providing such a good template for sound design, how did it go so horribly wrong here?

Random Thought #1: Make sure you stay through the credits.  There is a stinger.  You will like it.  I guarantee.

Random Thought #2: Yes, the Oldsmobile managed to make its obligatory cameo.

Random Thought #3: SLIGHT SPOILER ALERT!  At one point a nail gun comes into play.  I had the same problem here that I always do with nail guns in movies; where in the green hell is the damn air compressor?  I know there are self contained ones available, but this wasn’t one of those.  That always drives me crazy.  Attention to detail people!

There are probably a lot of people who won’t like this movie.  The majority of them will point to how different it is than the original as the source of their ire.  A lot of them probably have their mind made up before ever seeing it too.  Yes, this is Evil Dead for a different age.  I prefer the filmmaking style of the original too.  But if you can get past the fact that it’s a remake of one of your favorite movies, what you’ll find is an all out splatterfest that manages to deliver some good scares, create a few genuinely tense moments, and be a lot of fun.  Did I mention the gore?  While the original arguably may have had more heart, you can’t deny that the remake has guts.  It manages to be its own cinematic experience, while maintaining enough of the classic spirit we all love that I feel it’s a worthy companion piece.  Plus, it’s bloody as hell.  Not sure if I brought that up or not.  8 Swallowed Souls out of 10.  Nathan says check it out.

The Casket Creatures New Video "Curse Of The Mummy's Tomb."

There was a time when I thought I was never meant to actually see The Casket Creatures play.  Since the demise of The Spectremen, there had been a ghoul rock void in Atlanta.  When I heard that there was a new horror punk band on the block carrying the banner, I knew I needed to see them.  Fate kept stepping in the damn way though.  The first time I tried to see them, I had to leave the show before they went on.  The second time, they went on early and I got there just as they left the stage.  The third time…um, I was too drunk to remember why I missed them that time.  Then, one glorious night at the equally glorious Clermont Lounge, I finally caught their set.  Since then, I’ve seen the ghouls from Gainesville quite a few times, both headlining and opening for horror rock heavyweights like Wednesday 13 and Michale Graves, and they’ve quickly become one of my favorite Atlanta bands.

There are really only two kinds of horror punk bands out there; those who are influenced by The Misfits and those who rip off The Misfits.  After all, they did create the genre.  While the Casket Creatures definitely wear their Misfits influence on their sleeve, often covering Halloween and/or Vampira, they are  not a straight rip off…not that there’s anything wrong with that.  They’re more spiritual kin with some of the modern horror bands that add more of an aggressive tone and an  “epic” spin to the traditional formula.  Bands like The Other, The Crimson Ghosts, or Blitzkid.

Listening to the Creatures play, you can pick out distinctive elements and styles that make up their sound.  The dual guitar attack, with Jamie Robertson riffing like a hybrid beast of punk intensity and metal power and Derek Obscura bringing the glam rock sleaze factor, makes for a potent jolt of adrenaline.  Ryan Howard is an old school horror punk crooner, but he knows how to bring a more aggressive vocal style to the proceedings when the moment is right.  The rhythm section, comprised of Drew Chandler on melodic yet punishing bass and his brother Bradley Chandler beating the drums, and you, into submission, anchors it all.  There’s also an indescribable yet undeniable Southern flavor to their music.  It’s not so much in their playing style, it’s just that extra little swagger and raunch that only us lunatics from the sticks can muster.  Like I always say, there’s no psycho like Southern psycho.

Their first cd, Tales From The Unknown, is a hell of an album, containing live staples like Agnes, Evil Comes Home, and Bad 2 Hearse.  The band has changed since Tales’ release in 2011, however.  Only Ryan and Jamie remain from the original lineup.  Since then, the band has become a better-stitched together monstrosity…and a meaner one at that.  Their new album, Sex, Blood, and Rock n’ Roll, is due out very soon on GNO Records, and will feature the new line up.  I’ve heard a lot of the new tracks live, including my personal favorite Lizzie’s Song, and I’m intrigued to hear how those work on cd.  I have a feeling that SD&R&R will do a much better job of capturing the energy that the Creatures bring to the stage in a live environment.  You can check out a few of the band’s tunes HERE, including two (Curse of the Mummy’s Tomb and Bats, Blood, & Bitches) off of the upcoming album.  Mummy’s Tomb is also available for download HERE, along with their new T-shirt. 

The horror punk community worldwide is starting to take notice of what Atlanta audiences have known for a while now.  Last year, The Casket Creatures were invited to play the Ghoul’s Night Out festival alongside legends like Blitzkid and Mister Monster.  They recently won the Band of the Year, Best Up And Coming Band, and Most Anticipated Album awards at Horror-Punks.com.  Their new video, for the track Curse of the Mummy’s Tomb, debuted last Monday and scored over 700 views on its first day.  Speaking of the video, here it is for your viewing pleasure.  Take one part Abbott and Costello, one part Scooby Doo, and one part Dig Up Her Bones, and you’ve got the idea.  It’s a fun homage to the classic horror of yesteryear.  Check it out…

 
See, I told you it was killer.  So, now that I’ve introduced you to the boys, go tell your friends.  Hell, tell your enemies too.  You can follow the exploits of The Casket Creatures at their facebook page HERE, and expect more band news here on SOC as the album’s release date shambles towards us with that bloodthirsty gleam in its one remaining eye…

Review: Cool As Hell

Yeah, yeah, I know. I was supposed to have this review up last week.  I’ve been busy on SOC’s current pet project though, so me getting a little behind will be worth it in time.  I promise.  Anyway, if you’ve been a Cellmate for a while, you know that James Balsamo and Acid Bath Productions have been associated with Son of Celluloid since damn near the beginning, and vice versa.  Hell, Hack Job was the third screener I ever received.  Earlier this month at Days of the Dead, I finally got to meet James Balsamo in person, and he hooked me up with a hot off the presses copy of his new flick Cool As Hell.  He also gave me an I Spill Your Guts shirt (which – spoiler alert – is still my favorite Acid Bath flick).  Admit it, you’re jealous.  The question is, does Cool As Hell live up to its name? 

Synopsis: “Rich wasn’t always a samurai sword wielding zombie slayer! He was your average comic book store employee, until he met a demon named Az. When Az came from Hell, he left the portal open and a soul hungry beast escaped. Rich and his roommate Benny used to have girl troubles, but that’s the least of their worries now. They have to stop the creature and the living dead that have crawled out of Hell. Who would have thought Rich would have to save the world just to get laid?”

The number one thing that struck me as I watched Cool As Hell was the acting.  It is leaps and bounds above his previous two flicks.  It’s got a lot of the same actors too.  I don’t know if they just found the right roles this time around or they grew as artists or what, but the leads are great.  Balsamo and Dan E. Danger, as Rich and Benny, are a damn good comic duo.  Balsamo, in particular, shows some spot on comic timing in his delivery.  Billy Walsh, who you might remember as Joe Bava in I Spill Your Guts, pulls off the perfect attitude and presence as Az.  Lauren Adamkiewicz shows off the chops to carry off a leading lady role.  Frank Mullen, who is also the lead singer for legendary death metal band Suffocation, is hilarious.  Every time he opens his mouth, the (seemingly improvised) string of profane rage that spews forth will have you rolling.  As good as the leads are, there is a time-honored tradition in comedies of someone in a small character role stealing the whole f’n show.  In Cool As Hell, that was Jackie Wolozin.  She’s only on screen for a little over four minutes, but for those four minutes she is supreme lord and commander of your eyeballs, ‘cause they ain’t going anywhere.  Here’s hoping she has a role in Acid Bath’s future flicks.

As with HJ and ISYG, the soundtrack is great.  Not only do The Bloodsucking Zombies From Outer Space contribute another theme song, but their music is used throughout the flick, which I personally loved.   Some of the best bands the metal and punk scenes have to offer are featured as well.  One of the criticisms that HJ and I Spill Your Guts sometimes drew was that the music, while great, sometimes didn’t mesh well with what was on screen, and sometimes actually worked against the scene.  That’s been remedied in this flick.  I was really impressed with how the music always set the appropriate mood and worked in tandem with the action this time,.  The music just bludgeoned it’s way through before.  Now it’s more of a surgical strike, making these great soundtracks, which have always been a major draw for these flicks, an even more potent weapon in Acid Bath’s cinematic arsenal.

The cinematography deserves special mention as well.  A couple of moments (what in the green hell was up with that first seizure inducing scene in the comic shop?) not withstanding, overall the film looks great.  Where the camera work really shines is in the actual camera movement.  Director of Photography Guy Marchais deserves a round of applause, because those tracking shots were fluid, visually engaging, and showed a pretty unique style.  It’s hard to put my finger on precisely what it was, but these shots were just plain cool looking. 

All of the usual Acid Bath touches that we’ve come to know and love are here.  As I mentioned, the soundtrack kicks ass.  The flick is full of Balsamo’s trademark “blink and you missed it” cameos from Tom Savini, Laurence Harvey, Andrew W.K., Tim Dax, Raven, Tommy Dreamer, David Naughton,  Carmine Capobianco, Tim Ritter, and the list goes on and on.  There are also a lot of musician cameos, including members of The Meatmen, God Forbid, Cannabis Corpse, Municipal Waste (who are hilarious), Black Tusk, etc.  There’s some fun low budget style gore.  And it wouldn’t be a Balsamo flick without the tits.  Bountiful tits.  Lots and lots of bare breasts.  I think one of the things I most like about the nudity in this flick is that it’s non discriminatory.  There are big boobs, smaller boobs, skinny girls, thick chicks, and everything in between.  I dig that.  Variety is the spice of life.

Along with those integral Acid Bath hallmarks, a couple of their same old issues rear their ugly heads too.  Part of Balsamo’s storytelling style is for the film to go off on sub-plot tangents, which is not a problem…unless those tangents go on too long.  There was one scene in particular involving Sal collecting money at a bar that seemed interminable. A little more liberal snipping in scenes like that would really help maintain the flick’s momentum.  Also, the sound needed help.  While the leveling issue isn’t even remotely as bad as in I Spill Your Guts, there are times when the conversation is too quiet or the music is too loud.  There were some outdoor scenes where the wind was obviously beating the living shit out of the mic.  A quick overdub would have done a world of good.  I’ve called both of this film’s predecessors on their sound issues too, but don’t think I’m picking on you James.  In my always humble but never wrong opinion, sound is currently the single most neglected piece of the filmmaking puzzle amongst indie horror filmmakers.

I’m not entirely sure what to say about the comedy aspects of the film.  I’ve said before that I’m extremely picky about my comedies.  Some of the stuff here was just too silly to work for me.  That’s a matter of personal taste though.  I think that fans of all kinds of comedy will find something here to dig.  I’m definitely more into dialogue and character driven comedy, and thankfully there’s some of that in here too.  Comedy is such a subjective thing that you really can’t judge it.  Not all of the gags were my cup of tea, but I’m sue they will be a lot of people’s.  The one thing that I can say for sure is that I would have liked to see some more horror in this horror-comedy.  All of the horrific stuff is in the very beginning and last 20 minutes.  What lies betwixt the samurai sword zombie slicing is more or less just a straight up comedy with a demon as a character.  If that counted, then Bedazzled and Oh God would be horror comedies too.  That’s not to say that it doesn’t work as a comedy, and the horror elements are well done, but I wish the macabre goodness was dispersed a little more evenly throughout the flick.

Random Thought 1: I mentioned that great theme song earlier.  Well, here it is.  Go listen to it.  Then go to facebook and tell the Bloodsucking Zombies From Outer Space that they need to play in America.  Don’t leave me as the voice crying out in the wilderness here.  Damn I love this band. 

Random Thought 2: You know that beautiful moment where you’re laughing so hard that you can barely choke out “what the unholy f**k was that?”  Tim Dax’s cameo got that reaction from me.

Random Thought 3: The drinking game from Hack Job still applies.  Drink any time an actor (particularly the bands) looks like they’re barely maintaining a straight face.

Random Thought 4:  I just misspelled Hack Job, and spellcheck asked me if I meant Hand Job.  Interesting.

I’ve talked before about how Balsamo’s flicks exist on the video fringe and might not resonate with more mainstream oriented audiences.  Cool As Hell, however, is his most accessible flick.  Well, as accessible as a flick with demon sex and talking loogie named Boo-Gar (get it?) can be.  The flick definitely works as a comedy, there’s some nice splattery touches, and all of the things that make an Acid Bath flick fun are in full effect.

Balsamo takes a step towards more traditional filmmaking here, while keeping the other foot firmly stuck in the bizarro world of trash cinema.  So, invite your weirdo friends and your normal buddies too; chances are they’ll both think it’s Cool As Hell.  Seven Superbong tokes out of 10.  Nathan says check it out.

Giveaway: Hack Job and I Spill Your Guts

It's time for another giveaway.  I do so love spreading the horror wealth to you Cellmates.  I feel like a blood soaked demented Santa Claus or a mutant cannibalistic Bob Barker or something.  Anyway, this one comes to us courtesy of Wild Eye Releasing (get both of these flicks and check out all of the other indie horror goodness they've got to offer HERE), Acid Bath Productions, and James Balsamo.  Balsamo's new flick, Cool As Hell, hit store shelves everywhere yesterday, and I'll be reviewing it on Friday, but before you go pick up your copy you've got the chance to win DVD copies of his first two movies, Hack Job (REVIEW) and I Spill Your Guts (REVIEW).  That's more low budget gore, laughs, chills, monsters, wacky horror and metal cameos, great music, and gratuitous tits than you can shake a stick at.  So here's what you have to do...

This is a video of my chat with James at Days of the Dead Atlanta.  In this clip, we give you a secret password.  Watch the video, then come back.  Oh come on, it's only, like, 3 and a half minutes.  These are good flicks.  I gotta make you work for it a little bit.  Fun Fact - This was at the tail end of four days of heavy partying and no sleep, so I barely even remember doing this interview. 

Now that you've got the password, follow these 3 easy steps to enter...

1. If you haven't already, go like the Son of Celluloid facebook page HERE. 

2. If you haven't already, go like the Acid Bath Productions facebook page HERE.

3. Send an email to fromhell13@aol.com with "Cool As Hell" as the subject.  Make sure it contains your name, your address, and the secret password.

The deadline is March 6th, so get cracking and win some cool flicks.  And always remember the Son of Celluloid battle cry...Support Independent Horror!

The Winner Of The Sexiest Zombie Giveaway Is...

 It looks like Linnea's appeal to the Cellmates worked, because Trash won the "sexiest zombie in the Return of the Living Dead series" vote by a landslide!  Yes, she beat Mindy Clarke as Julie from part 3 by a vote of 14 to 5.  Congratulations Trash.  Personally, if I were voting I would have had to go with Mindy 'cause I'm into redheads and for the kink factor, but that's neither here nor there.  So, as per the rules of the giveaway, all of you who voted for Linnea had your names thrown into the cauldron (actually that's not true, I used random.org), and a name was chosen.  The winner of the More Brains documentary and the Lionsgate Zombie 6-pack is...

Mark Schemanske

One of my Atlanta horror homies got this one.  He's the one with the balloon and the camera.  I'm stoked that he won for two reasons.  Number one, he's a cool guy.  Number two, I don't have to pay shipping!  I can just give it to him next time I see him. Thanks to  everyone who entered.  If you didn't win this time, never fear, I'll be announcing Son of Celluloid's next horrific giveaway later this week.

The Moon Is A Dead World Presents Viewer Vomit 8: Rites Of Spring

Over at The Moon Is A Dead World (which is a blog you really should be reading), my homie Ryne is presenting the eighth installment of this Viewer Vomit series.  What is Viewer Vomit you ask?  It's where he names a movie, invites all of the readers to review it, then presents the reviews together so you can see the differences of opinion.  For example, this time around the flick is Rites Of Spring, an indie slasher flick from 2011.  Personally, I thought it was deeply flawed and not too smart, but I had fun, so I dug it.  Hell, I like all of my friends, and some of them are also deeply flawed and not too smart.  Anyway, the general consensus over there seems to be that the flick is a steaming pile of crap.  Go check out all of the reviews and see just how differently a bunch of horror fans can see the same flick.  Just click on the Rites of Spring poster up there (or click HERE since picture links seem to confuse some of you) to be magically whisked away to the land of Viewer Vomit.  Trust me, it's the most fun of any vomit I've ever experienced.