Horror Business Archive: Episodes 6-10

Here it is, Cellmates.  The second round of Horror Business Episodes for your streaming and downloading pleasure.  Horror Business and its sister show, Missing Link Mixtape, can be heard on alternating Monday nights at 10pm only on The FDTC Network.

Episode 6: Ask SOC
What do you do when a guest bails on you?  You make the mistake of asking your facebook friends for questions, that's what.  We end up talking about my horror history, which horror starlets I want to do dirty things to, vampire fights, my former life of crime, ectoplasm as lube, my theories on the genre, and a ridiculous amount of other stuff.

Horror Business Episode 6 Link

Episode 7: James Bickert
It's a special 90 minute episode of Horror Business featuring my interview with director/drive-in historian James Bickert. We talk Dear God No!, Drive-Invasion, porn, beer, BBQ, video stores, piracy, bondage, the Oath of Green Blood, and a whole lot more.

Horror Business Episode 7 Link




Episode 8: The Netherspawn
 With Halloween coming up and haunted attraction season in full swing, I went to the actors who stalk the halls of Netherworld Haunted House in Atlanta (my haunt home since 1999) for their best stories about scaring someone shitless.  Time for the monsters to speak

Horror Business Episode 8 Link

Episode 9: Making The Video
 The Son of Celluloid and Brad Slaton co-directed a music video for The Casket Creatures song "Zombie Werewolves From Outer Space."  Go check it out on youtube.  Then listen to this roundtable discussion between Nathan, Brad, and the band about the craziness that went into creating the video.

Horror Business Episode 9 Link

 

Episode 10: Home Haunter Eric Cotto

We heard from the actors at one of the largest haunts in the nation, now let's visit the other end of the haunt spectrum.  Eric and Nikki Cotto run a haunt out of their home to raise money for charity.  Hear the story of a family who turns their home into a house of horrors each year to help the community and for the sheer love of fear.  Also, Brad Slaton drops by to chat Starry Eyes and See No Evil 2.

Horror Business Episode 10 Link

Horror Business Episode 7: James Bickert

We're back with a special 90 minute episode of Horror Business featuring my interview with director/drive-in historian James Bickert. We're talking Dear God No!, Drive-Invasion, bondage, porn, beer, BBQ, video stores, piracy, the Oath of Green Blood, and a whole lot more. Don't miss it...

EPISODE 7 LINK

What Halloween Means To Me '13 Day 3: James Bickert

Originally I wasn't going to have any repeat offenders from last year's countdown.  Then Jimmy dropped gold in my lap.  James Bickert is an exploitation historian, filth connoisseur, filmmaker, drunkard, and good friend.  He's also the only person I know with a freakin' drive-in in their back yard.  Literally.  The parties he throws there are legendary.  Hell, writing the tale of his memorial Franco-thon got me published in Fangoria.  Speaking of parties, let's get on with what Halloween means to Mr. Bickert this time around.  Last year he extolled the virtues of pumpkin beer.  This year he thrills us with the tale of a Halloween party from days of yore that I would give an extremity to have been at.

"Halloween for me is an exploration. It’s a time to excavate the primordial instincts lying deep within your DNA. When you can throw society’s laws in the shitter and deconstruct morality to escape the soulless technological cluster fuck and self-appointed important people masquerading as the talent struck. A freedom from this world of talking heads that smears their acidic snot across my synapses. Halloween as a child involved a terror of the unknown and a celebration of horrific folklore. As a man, there is no unknown and folklore merely falsehoods. There lies a plague of cruelty spilling from the selfishness around us and Halloween can offer a temporary escape but it may also serve as a key to one’s own self destructive personality and a portal to the edge of cliffs where you can awkwardly balance while dancing with Poe’s imp of the perverse and better understand one’s fears. 

My favorite of Halloween experiment is from the double vision years at Georgia Southern University in the swamps of Statesboro. I had a friend named E.J. (R.I.P.) who could be best described as a cross between Timothy Leary and Charles Manson. A walking stereotype of dirty denim clad refer-smoke haze who lived in a rat-infested dilapidated farmhouse surrounded by acres of corn on the outskirts of town. It was a safe haven for growing marijuana, firing guns, discussing literature and testing the purity of psychedelic substances. Many lessons learned free from the intrusion of local law enforcement. For Halloween night, E.J.’s buddies the Iron Coffins Motor Cycle Club were coming to town, so he decided to throw a shindig by burning a witch in a bonfire before the requisite live music. Since these fine upstanding citizens made their living running microdots down the East Coast, it was sure to be one hell of a mind fuck. I didn’t realize just how big or the visions it would contain.

To avoid the Sheriff department‘s roadblocks, E.J. hired a Volkswagon Beatle club to run as cabs for all the invited guests. It was the only way in and out. Every rider received the requisite party enhancers. Once you took the 8 mile trip and arrived, it looked like all the fires of hell had broken loose with crazed drunken demons in elaborate costumes and topless white trash dancing on anything that allowed for a bigger spectacle. The beer was flowing and people were not paying attention when a plastic jug holding microdots melted on a fireplace mantle. The heat caused a hole to appear and thousands of doses to fall out and roll across the wooden floors, up for grabs to anyone who wanted to fill their cheeks.

Now Halloween costumes, beer, bonfires, Southern rock, outlaw bikers, screwing coeds in corn fields and a squadron of German cars zipping around while it rained free hallucinogenic drugs may seem like enough for most people, but it was not for old Wade. Nobody really knew why he was such a puppy kicking cruel bastard or why E.J. even hung out with this greasy 300lb psychopath. Some say he got messed up in a secret Army experiment but nobody really knew the truth. At least I didn't. It was a few months before he committed suicide and I guess he wanted to take some folks out with him by throwing a pillow case of live 9mm rounds into the bonfire. It didn’t take long before bullets were flying like party streamers. They buzzed through corn, shot up the side of the farm house and a hit a few VWs.

Luckily none of the several hundred party patrons were shot. Wade was quickly escorted to an ass kicking and the sane trippers quickly retreated back to the city. Me and a few buddies were not the types to let a drop of beer remain in a keg so we decided to hold out for more thrill-seeking milk. Once we realized the VW Bugs were not coming back and E.J. had fled his own property, the Iron Coffins informed us that they were leaving to run some stuff down to Savannah and would be back in the afternoon. They were also going to leave one of their old ladies behind because she had become unmanageable. We were told at gunpoint that none of us boys better lay a finger on her if we knew what was best. The dust from their Harleys had not even cleared when this road worn woman had completely stripped herself naked. She was skeletal, missing most of her teeth on the left side of her face, had an enormous bush and pierced flapjack tits that resembled the teats of an old hound dog with too many pups. There was a gold chain connecting these dried up protrusions. Even without drugs, she would have resembled a corpse that had spent a 4 day weekend at a sold-out necrophilia convention. It was not brains on her zombie mind. It was college cock. We were trapped and way past our drug tolerance levels so we scrambled for our lives. There was hiding, creeping, chasing an all types of uneasy verbs. We set traps and we made distractions. I was almost captured several times and even heard a buddy sobbing. We were living a porn version of Night of the Living Dead. I spent what seemed like days being chased by this once female monstrosity through the corn fields of Georgia and not until I snuck back to the farmhouse and climbed onto the roof did I feel any glimmer of hope for surviving the night. Over the next few hours, all my friends made it to that roof. We laid up there in silence afraid that even a sigh would bring a violent raping death. By sunrise, her yelling and stomping through the house had grown silent. With the sun sweating the life out of us, we took our chances and made it to Highway 67 where we grabbed a ride in the back of a pick-up truck like Marilyn Burns fleeing from Leatherface. Neil Young blasted as three exhausted metal heads burned out and faded away.

Much, much more happened than what I have told. That party was evil. It relished in it. I learned that living, controlling, owning and becoming darkness can lead to a higher understanding of your capabilities. Your killing instinct. While I may only do something relatively insane in small 30 second increments today, I have the wisdom to know what lies under my surface. I’m one double-cross, a shot of whiskey and a loaded gun away.

Now I’m 46 with evaporating angst and I host a kids Halloween party with my wife and daughter. I’m in charge of the typical suburban father chores like grilling, hooking up the electronics and projecting monster classics. There is the ritualistic pumpkin carving, gift bags, apple bobbing and lots of cute costumes. There are no drugs, suicidal maniacs or outlaw bikers ditching their horny old ladies. No staring at death, and the real world horrors are replaced by the laughter of children. It’s a simple life. One I tried to avoid. Every year after the guests leave, I crack open a beer and stare into the night. I think about E.J.’s farmhouse and a smile creeps across my face. The man was a goddamn genius. We all have the potential to climb a bell tower and kill those around us. Halloween can provide a smoke screen to allow exploration of the blackest regions in the mind, a little bit free from self-imposed and man-made laws."

 28 days ‘til Halloween, Halloween, Halloween.  28 days ‘til Halloween.  Silver Shamrock.

What Halloween Means To Me Day 15: James Bickert (Big World Pictures)

In many ways, the release and rise of Dear God No! and the history of Son of Celluloid are tied together.  My first cover quote was on the limited edition VHS.  The first time my name appeared in a magazine, it was on a DGN ad.  It was also the first movie premiere that I attended as press.  At the after party, I interviewed the director, and that’s when I met James Bickert.  In addition to making that sleaze masterpiece, Jimmy is a living, breathing exploitation encyclopedia.  His knowledge of drive-in cinema is as far beyond mine as mine is beyond a normal person.  It’s not very often that people can turn me on to horror flicks I’ve never even heard of, but he can.  I mean hell, the dude has a freakin' drive-in in his back yard.  Literally.  Now THAT’S dedication.  He’s a brilliant trash historian, an excellent director, a drunken scumbag, and a hell of a guy.  He’s currently in pre-production on Frankenstein Created Bikers, so keep an ear out for news on the next bloody biker epic from Big World Pictures.  So Jimmy, what does Halloween mean to you?

“The creepy kid down the street is now an adult. As Halloween grows near and the air becomes brisk, a magic elixir begins to appear. The season brings pumpkin beers, Oktoberfest recipes and porters. Hearty beers that fill the belly and enhance the dizzy whirlwind of cheap tetanus laden fair rides, leaves floating through bare trees over a laughter filled bonfire and obscure giallos haphazardly projected onto a backyard screen. The career sinner can stagger among the crowd undetected while conjuring double vision nightmares. In a flickering light ritual, resurrected cinematic gods cast spells on my daughter and other children. We can only hope they will be infected and become the future creepy children down the street.”

12 days ‘til Halloween, Halloween, Halloween.  12 days ‘til Halloween.  Silver Shamrock!

Dear God NO! Screen used prop contest extended one week!

Alright folks, today was supposed to be the big day when I would announce the winner of the Dear God No prop giveaway. That’s not happening. Why? Because I’m extending the contest until next week, that’s why! First of all, let’s go back over these killer prizes. Here's what we've got...

If you read my interview with Bickert (HERE) ...what am I talking about? OF COURSE you read it. In that case you remember us talking about the hilarious homages to his favorite filmmakers throughout the film. Well, you can now own some of them. In the "bait shop scene," Quint's Hushpuppy mix, Jess Franc-O's, and Uncle Bruno's Country Style Peas & A.I.D.S. can be seen stocking the shelves.

Later, Dr. Marco's daughter brings the Impalers wine spiked with...well, you'll have to see the flick to see what wicked concoction she serves. All you need to know is that when you want to serve the bikers murdering and raping your family the very best, you serve deOssario. 1918 to be exact. A great vintage. Well, here's one of the bottles that appeared in the flick. Don't worry, it's empty. No bigfoot juice. Just "La noche del terror" goodness.

In addition to one of each of these kick ass rare and highly sought after collectibles, the winner will also receive a copy of the insanely awesome poster featuring art by the insanely awesome Tom Hodge. That's it at the top of the post. That pic is the censored version, the poster I send out will be the original nipple baring version. It will even be autographed by the director. If I'm feeling generous, I might pick a couple of runners up to give posters to.

It’s easy as hell to enter too. All you have to do is…

1. If you haven't already, become a follower of the blog.

2. If you haven't already, go HERE and like the facebook page.
3. Leave a comment either on this post or the original contest post HERE (If you already did it there, don't bother doing it here. Once is enough.) with your name, email, and the answer to this question: All of these items are references to a film or filmmaker. Tell me what/who at least one of the items is a reference to.

See, it's that easy. The winner will be chosen at random on March 27. That’s next Tuesday folks. So why did I decide to extend the contest? Well, the last couple of weeks have been very busy and I haven’t had the time to promote this thing like it deserves. If someone missed out on the chance at a prize THAT epic because they didn’t know about the contest I could never forgive myself. That, dear Cellmates, is where you come in.

Tell your friends, family, loved ones, acquaintances, readers, co-workers, and enemies about the contest. If a cop pulls you over, make sure he knows. When you go to put that dollar in that stripper’s g-string, tell her about it. That annoying lady with the thousand coupons in line at the grocery store? Tell her. Actually, scream it at her at the top of your voice. You’ll feel better. Call your mom and tell her. I’m sure she’d love to hear from you. Telemarketers, Jehovah Witnesses, the mailman, hell, tell EVERYBODY. In particular, post on facebook/twitter/your blog about it. Why should you do that? Well, if you don’t then you obviously don’t care about your fellow man. That means you’re a sucky friend. Nobody wants to be known as a sucky friend. In fact, you’re probably lousy in bed too. That’s right, I said it. If you don’t tell everyone you know about this contest, you’re most likely lousy in bed. If someone comes up to me in the future and asks why they never got the chance to win awesome Dear God No props, I’ll tell them it was your fault for not telling them. Then they’ll say “(YOUR NAME HERE)? I know him/her. He/she’s a sucky friend. I hear they’re lousy in bed too.” That will be your legacy, all because you didn’t spread the word. You don’t want that, now do you? Of course not. Now go spread the word, enter the contest, and good luck.

Interview: Dear God No! director James Bickert Part 2

Here's the second part of my interview with James Bickert, the director of Dear God No! (REVIEW) If you missed part one, CHECK IT OUT HERE. What are you thinking? Why the hell would you start reading part 2 first? Come on now. I swear, sometimes I wonder about you people...

SOC: All of the actors looked pretty comfortable on those bikes. Were they bikers turned actors or actors turned bikers?

JB: They were dirtbags turned bikers. They were mainly musicians. A lot of us had experience with motorcycles just because we’re goofballs who grow up in trailer parks and drink a lot of beer and hang out at drive-ins. Jett actually dressed like Evel Knievel and jumped a bunch of flaming bags of popcorn at one of the Drive-Invasion’s (get info about that event here). We did get lied to by one of our actors who said he knew how to ride a motorcycle and hadn’t ever ridden one. He learned that day, and luckily we had insurance and he didn’t kill himself or anybody. The one guy who had the most experience was the only guy who dropped a bike.

SOC: I’ve been involved in shooting a rape scene and sometimes it’s hard to get the actors and actresses to give you the intensity necessary to make it believable. Was the rape scene in Dear God No hard to shoot in that respect?

JB: No, the only way that thing was really hard to shoot was that we were exhausted. That was our longest shooting day. I think we shot for 20 hours. That was a brutal day. The whole point of us shooting 20 hours that day was that we didn’t want to go back to that set, so we just had to get it done that night. By the time we were shooting that we were all loopy as hell, and I think that added a lot to it. It was kinda like the stories from Texas Chainsaw Massacre and the dinner scene where they were all going nuts because it was such a long day and it was hot and they could smell the pet crematorium next door. So the actress started thinking they were really going to kill her. We just wanted to get the f**k out of there at that point. I think the women were like “Yeah, rape me, please, do anything, just say wrap!”

SOC: One of the times I laughed hardest in the film was at the Corman’s Malt Liquor. Are there more of those type of homages that viewers will catch on subsequent viewings?

JB: Yeah. I’m a graphic designer, so I filled the film full of little subtle things like that. In the Larry’s office scene there are these boxes that say R.A. Meyer Bra Company like they’re stock left over from one of Russ Meyer’s films or something. The bait store had a ton. There were cans of Jess Franc-O’s on the shelf. (He told me about quite a few more, but it just wouldn’t be any fun if we gave them all away now would it?)

SOC: After you finished shooting, you took to Kickstarter to raise your completion funds. How did that work out for you and would you recommend it to other indy filmmakers?

JB: Yeah I would. It worked out great, we raised it really quick. It kinda slowed us down because we raised the money in, like, 10 days and then we had to wait 45 days to get the money because of that. We could have gone into transferring the film into digital a lot faster if we could have known we’d get that kind of response.

SOC: The poster is amazing. That’s another thing that’s becoming a lost art in the movie industry. How important is a good poster?

JB: It’s very important. We did a trailer and got a huge boost across the internet, but when we got Thomas Hodge to do that poster and that thing got released, man, the whole thing just went ape shit. It went f**king nuts. It’s ridiculous when you look at modern movie posters. One thing I don’t get that I noticed they started doing about the mid 90’s is they’ll have a photograph of, say, four actors, but their names won’t be in the order of their faces. They’re in some weird order. What the hell is that all about? You understand this, what lured us in and got our money was VHS boxes and the old one-sheets that were geared towards drive-ins and grindhouses. It’s like David Friedman said, “Sell the sizzle, not the steak.” Well, we’re trying to give you the sizzle and the steak. We need to give you the sizzle with the poster so you’ll eat our steak. Yeah I think it’s a lost art and I think that’s a shame. I mean, even the McGinnis James Bond posters that were so amazing. Now they’d just rather have some pretty boy up there pointing a gun in a photograph. Man, f**k photography and I’m a photography major. I collect movie posters. I’ve got a huge collection. I really like a lot of Belgian movie posters. They would have their own artists in Belgium doing these posters, and they wouldn’t be based on the American artwork. The same with some of the Italian Localinas. If you see some of the Polish ones they’re f**king insane. They look like some US ad campaign for recycling or something from the 70’s if someone dropped a bunch of acid. I love it. I’m a huge fan, especially the AIP stuff. It’s a big part of a film. It’s huge.

SOC: Now that the movie is done and out how happy are you with the finished product?

JB: I’m ecstatic. I think we pulled off something really terrific and I have no complaints about it. It came out perfect. It’s just what I wanted and the response has been great. The people I’ve been working with are fantastic. I just want to make more, and we’re going to.

SOC: In the past few years grindhouse/drive-in/exploitation films have had a big resurgence in popularity. Why do you think they’re becoming so popular again?

JB: Because Hollywood’s remaking everything and they don’t have any ideas. They’re just redoing the same things. There’s also this thing where everything is getting so hi def that they’re losing some basic elements of what drew people to movies to begin with. Old movies, especially from that late 60’s and early 70’s era, they had it. I go to movies to see what I can’t see on TV.

SOC: What is the difference between a grindhouse movie and a drive-in movie?

JB: With a grindhouse movie you look over your shoulder, you wear a raincoat, you go and jack off, and you slink away. With a drive-in movie you take a bunch of buddies and your girls and a cooler full of beer. You get drunk as hell, you raise hell, and you have a good time. The only way a drive-in movie can fail is by being boring. I’ve learned a lot from bad movies, but I don’t learn anything from boring movies.

SOC: Other than almost burning down the drive-in, because I already told that one, give us a good story from the shooting of the movie.

JB: The day with the squibs was the most fun on set. You would squib all of these extras up, they’d go off, and they’d all start clapping. Unfortunately because of how long it was taking to film they were waiting in the rain outside of the bar because at first the girls didn’t want to be naked in front of strangers. Then we started giving them booze, and they were all like “Alright! Let all the extras in!” I didn’t want the extras to get drunk and rowdy. The way I curbed that was that I made all of those Corman’s Beers. They were all Yuengling Light, but we left them all out in the sun. They were all hot as f**k. So I said “free beer”, it was out on all of the tables, but this shit was so hot you couldn’t drink it. You couldn’t get it down. So I knew they would be manageable. I’ve been on a film set where they gave free beer away, and it got way out of control. But anyway, they would get squibbed up and they would all go off and it didn’t matter, everyone was so happy.

SOC: When will the movie be available on DVD?

JB: I’m hoping the beginning of the year. We’re making screeners and adding all of the special features. I don’t want anyone coming back to me and saying “Well, it’s going to take this much money to put it together” when I can do that shit myself. Then I’ll have a total package to go on blu-ray or DVD. We’ve gotten a ton of offers. First I want to see if we have any big American interest, but if we get somebody really big then they’re probably going to want the foreign territories, but I’m going to try to talk them out of it. I finally got an entertainment lawyer. I learned my lesson after the debacle with that other company.

SOC: You’re getting ready to start hitting festivals. Where can people see the movie?

JB: Arizona, Las Vegas, Ottawa, Mobile Alabama, that’s what we’ve got cooking so far. Toronto, come on! What’s wrong with you? You know you want it!

SOC: What’s your next project going to be?

JB: What I want to do is the sequel to this because this was so much damn fun. I’ve got a bunch lined up that I want to do after this. I was thinking that this would be the end of it, but I had so much fun doing this. I know how to make a sequel that will totally freak people out. I want it to progress a people of years in style too. I want to progress in style up to maybe the early 80’s; have it progressing in production value and music and everything. Like you’re watching a chain of sequels that start in 1973 and make their way to 1985 or something. I’ve got so many scripts written and so many ideas. One thing I’m dying to do is a women in prison film. They’re an obsession of mine. (To see how much of an obsession, check out his site bigbustout.com)

SOC: Do you have any last words for the readers?

JB: Stay tuned for Frankenstein Created Bikers. For this one I want to go Naschy on it, and I want to go a little Philippino on it too.

Interview: Dear God No! director James Bickert Part 1

This is actually the second interview I’ve conducted with James Bickert, the director of the new bikers vs. Bigfoot Drive-in classic Dear God No. If you missed it, you can read my review HERE. The first time I talked to him was at the after party following the world premiere at the Plaza Theater. It was a great interview. I now believe that copious amounts of alcohol should be involved in every interview I do. The only problem was that apparently we were too close to a speaker or something, because when I tried to play it back it sounded like Charlie Brown’s teacher interviewing herself. So we met again back at The Star Bar in Little 5 Points, during the day this time, to try it again. As the evening progressed and more alcohol was imbibed, we were joined by Richard Davis, who was responsible for the film’s outstanding score, along with Brian Malone and Dusty Booze, who both performed on the soundtrack. We talked about VHS collecting, obscure drive-in movies, Gene Simmons playing a transvestite, James’ animosity over being screwed over by a generally loved genre icon, George Carlin, why we hate guys named Todd, Kitten Natividad’s legendary endowments, Filipino movies (he has a Vic Diaz tattoo!) and anything else remotely related to exploitation flicks you can imagine. These guys love this stuff just as much as I do. I’m not transcribing the whole afternoon, however, as I wasn’t recording it on the grounds that I didn’t want any incriminating evidence. Without further ado, however, here’s part one of my interview with James Bickert.

SOC: For those not familiar with the flick, tell us about Dear God No.

JB: Well, it’s not an homage, it’s a lost drive-in movie.

SOC: Where did the inspiration for the story come from?

JB: Well, it came from having a daughter for the first time. There’s this underlying theme of selfishness and whether I should make my wife happy or be a complete selfish bastard, and a lot of it is all the fears that come with this newfound responsibility of fatherhood. But, there are other inspirations, which are everything I love as an exploitation fan, the biker genre especially. I like the obscure stuff. I mean Wild Angels was definitely an influence, but more the stuff that happened at the tail end of the biker heyday where they would just merge stuff together like Werewolves on Wheels. I love when a genre is about to die and they just mix in a bunch of stuff. Then there are also influences from the drive in, like I Drink Your Blood, there’s a lot of that in there. Then there’s a Canadian film which I’m just in love with which goes by, well, one of the names is Last House on the Left 2, but it’s also called Death Weekend and House by the Lake. It stars Don Stroud, who I just think is the ultimate badass. The aspect of a bunch of degenerates getting into a situation that easily gets out of control and beyond what they’re expecting was influenced by that. Then there’s some high falootin’ elements with the lead actress which would be more like Kate Chopin's The Awakening. She’s named after that. There’s also influence from Gustave Flaubert’s Madame Bovary, and that whole turn of the century literature with women trying to find their place and it keeps getting worse and worse for them, that kind of thing. Yeah, there’s a shit load of elements that go into the themes, but the main thing is just a beer drinking movie that’s fun. I love drive –in movies and I love discovering a new film that me and my buddies can sit there and drink beer and laugh to. But it’s got to have those elements every 5 or 10 minutes where your jaw’s agape, or you’re hooting and screaming. That was basically the blueprint, it had to have more to it, but keep being what it is, which is nothing but a good f**king time and be respectful to the genre. I love the genre. I’m not in it to make money; I’m in it to be a part of the genre. That’s ultimately my goal is not to get rich, but to get to keep making stuff that I’d want to see.

SOC: The film was shot on 16mm and you used 70’s era technology. Why did you decide to go that route and what challenges came with it?

JB: Well, I don’t think there were that many challenges. We didn’t have a video monitor so that eliminated anybody saying “Oh, that didn’t look too good” or “You need to change that shot,” so that solves that problem right away and saves a hell of a lot of time. Because we didn’t know what we were going to end up with, we could shoot as fast and furious as we wanted. There was really no technical stuff except for loading the camera.

SOC: How important was the authenticity of making the flick seem like it actually came from the 70’s?

JB: That was everything. The one thing I stewed over for the longest time is the scene at the drive in. It shows at the bottom the FM channel you could dial in to get the radio frequency. They didn’t have that until the 80’s, it was all AM until, like, 1983. I sat there and beat myself up and I could have fixed it in after effects, but it would have taken me a f**king week with all of the motion tracking. So, hopefully that will slide. That’s the only thing I can think of where somebody might say “That movie IS NOT from the 70’s.”

SOC: What were some of the extreme lengths you went to with your attention to detail to ensure the period accuracy?

JB: One of the most extreme was in the scene where Jet pops open a beer. We actually got a 70’s PBR can that a beer can collector had opened from the bottom, washed it out as best we could, filled it with beer, and duct taped the bottom so he could pull the pull tab even though you can’t even tell it’s a pull tab on screen. As Jet said it was very “tinny” tasting, and it was the only beer the poor bastard was allowed to have.

SOC: Of course in the first interview, for that question you mentioned…

JB: BUSH! Totally. I couldn’t believe (name withheld just to be safe) had that unshaved bush. She actually asked my wife if she should shave it and my wife said “hell no!” No body had Hitler moustaches in the 70’s. I kinda miss big bush. It was like a headrest. It was some place you could just nod off for a while and fight your way back through the forest and keep going. (Note: At this point a long, hilarious conversation about why the EPA should have an advocacy group to protect the crab louse’s natural habitat ensued.)

SOC: Speaking of that, one thing Dear God No has that is sadly lacking in most movies these days is gratuitous nudity. Why do you think today’s filmmakers shy away from it?

JB: It’s a bigger taboo than you think. I don’t know why puritan values have struck such a chord, but apparently they have. Yeah, that’s really sadly missing. There are a lot of Something Weird elements, and a lot of Russ Meyer, and a lot of Orgy of the Dead in it. When I’m drinking and watching shit outdoors, my go-to’s are Mondo Topless and Orgy of the Dead, and I can sit there and watch Something Weird trailers from dusk ‘til dawn. There are parts of Dear God No where yeah, I know the nudity goes on too long. I even had somebody tell me about a rough cut “You know, the nudity is going on a little too long” and I purposefully added more nudity because that’s what I want to see. You throw shaking hips and tits onscreen with damn tassels, and I’m mesmerized. Jess Franco knew it. Hell, that’s three fourths of his running time.

SOC: The film was all shot locally in Atlanta area. What are some of the locations that local readers might recognize?

JB: We shot around Dick’s Creek, which is great trout fishing.

SOC: The strip club scene was the Tucker Saloon, right?

JB: Yes. There was a whole big thing going in there that got overblown where we were told that we had to meet with a biker in order to film there. I got the impression that it was one of the Outlaws or something like that, some guy named Mad Dog. It was this whole big deal. So we go to meet with Mad Dog to get permission to shoot there and this guy is the biggest sweetheart you ever met. We’re buying him PBR’s and I dunno, I guess he just wanted to hang out. We ended up putting him in the movie and shooting him, so that was pretty cool. There are stickers in there that say “Outlaws Territory” and John Collins, who is in the movie, was in a chapter of the Hells Angels like, 10 years ago and he got all paranoid. I told him “Dude, you shouldn’t be worried about the Outlaws, my first night in that place I saw a UPS man in a UPS uniform beat the shit out of a guy. Be afraid of UPS.”

SOC: You’ve said that you wanted the film to have a “Georgia flavor.” What do you think making it here adds to the flick?

JB: A lot. It’s like all of these regional drive-in movies made where they would load the prints in the trunk of their car, go to the theater, screen them, grab them off the projector, throw them back in the trunk and get the hell out of dodge before the crowd rioted on them. Most biker flicks always have this LA flavor to them with custom choppers, scenes at the beach, the music; everything is so California. The ones that don’t are some of my favorites, like Werewolves on Wheels and Northville Cemetery Massacre, which was shot in Michigan. Man, it has the authentic flavor of Michigan. A lot of people have compared this (Dear God No) to it, and I think that’s right on because those were rat bikes and rat guys doing the extreme thing. It didn’t have any good looking Peter Fonda or anything like that. Georgia didn’t have a biker movie. Texas does, Michigan does, Florida does, but we don’t. I think it’s about time we got one.

Come back tomorrow to read the second half of the interview, and be sure to check out the Official Dear God No! Website.

Review: Dear God No!

A couple of weeks ago, in my review of the killer flick Dead Hooker in a Trunk, I talked about how the thing missing from a lot of the “grindhouse/drive-in/exploitation” throwbacks coming out lately is authenticity. I’m talking about authenticity in look and spirit. I’m talking about movies that understand that those flicks are about more than digitally added grain. Hobo With a Shotgun came close, but it still looked too much like a throwback instead of the genuine article. Dead Hooker in a Trunk didn’t go for the vintage look, but it had the spirit nailed down. Well folks, over the weekend I attended the world premiere of a flick that successfully captures both. It has the look. In fact, it was shot on film with vintage cameras. Does it have the feel? Well, when you see a biker step over an empty PBR box to kick a dead nun into the bushes within the first two minutes, I’d say it’s safe to say that you’re in for a wild ride. You want grindhouse/drive-in authenticity? I’ve got your authenticity right here. The film I speak of is director James Bickert’s bikers vs. Bigfoot opus Dear God, No!

The premiere was a blast. In a bit of William Castle style showmanship, actors from the film were handing out authentic locks of Bigfoot’s hair, skull rings (“…perfect for impressing the scooter trash at your next outlaw biker meet or gang rape”), and these certificates…

Click on the pic so you can read it. It's worth it. Then, as we walked in, something in the theater caught fire and they were handing out posters and apologizing for the smoke. Now that’s how you kick off a premiere! By the way, that poster, featuring art by Hobo with a Shotgun poster artist Tom Hodge, is bad ass. The crowd was raucous and ready to go. Only in a crowd like this will a proud papa stand up, point, and yell “That’s my boy, the fruit of my loins” while said child pisses himself onscreen. These are my kinda people.

Dear God No follows The Impalers, a violent, bloodthirsty, rape and murder crazed outlaw biker gang, or as they are described in the trailer “the 1% of the 1%ers.” Following a shootout at a strip club (where the dancers wear Nixon masks) resulting in one of their own taking a bullet, they decide that it’s time to lay low for a while. After encountering a local couple at a gas station, they track them to the cabin of Dr. Marco, a scientist who is researching Bigfoot. As the Impalers terrorize Dr. Marco, his daughter, and his two guests, the horrifying secret of what lurks in the woods, and what’s locked in the basement, threatens to destroy them all. Madness and mayhem ensues.

First off, the film looks great. I can actually call this one a film in the true sense of the word too as it was shot in 16mm. This is why it looks so much like the 70’s drive-in classics it pays homage to. Other films can shoot digitally and add grain, lines, and fake film defects, but nothing actually looks like film but film. Period. End of story. I have always been a big proponent of the idea that analog always looks much better than digital. There are those who swear that music always sounds best on vinyl. I feel the same way about movies. Film has a warmth, a texture, and a look that digital just can’t replicate. The problem is, it’s much more convenient and a whole hell of a lot cheaper to shoot digitally. It’s just not cost effective for most low budget films to be shot on film. I got different estimates of the film’s actual budget from the director and one of the stars/special effects guys, and was sworn to secrecy by both, but either way, the fact that they got this movie shot on the budget they had is mindblowing. What this low budget, on-film shooting led to was not just a return to the shooting medium of those 70’s classics, but the shooting method as well. What I heard from almost everyone involved was that almost everything was shot only once. One take and move on. This is the way those classic drive-in and grindhouse flicks were shot. The film has a great, unpolished honesty that could only come from shooting the movie cheap and fast, just like in the good old days. It also has some great, unique shots that it would have taken other productions untold takes and ridiculous amounts of time to pull off.

As far as the actual content, it definitely has the “anything goes” philosophy of the Russ Meyer, Herschel Gordon Lewis, Al Adamson, Roger Corman era. Watch for a great Corman reference in the film by the way. Bickert described his film as “imagine early John Waters directing a movie for AIP.” I will say that I don’t think I’ve ever seen a movie from the original drive-in era that went quite this far. I’ll try not to give anything away, but we get the repeated crotch kicking of a dead nun, multiple decapitations, lesbian incest rape, Nazis, tampon shots, children being murdered, coke-line swastikas, and anything else you can imagine. If you are at all squeamish or offendable, just say Dear God No to this one. If depraved weirdness and blood-soaked mayhem is your thing, prepare to experience cinematic nirvana. It also features more of that other beloved 70’s hallmark, gratuitous nudity, than I’ve seen in any movie in years. Yes, that includes Piranha 3d. 31 breasts in all. Kinda makes you proud to be an American, don’t it. The abundant gore is all done practically and it all looks great. It is so refreshing to see old school squibs in the shootout scene instead of the CGI blood splatter that’s so prevalent in recent horror flicks. The soundtrack is excellent, sounding like something that could have easily been released in 1976. They went all out making sure every last detail was period accurate.

While this is a flick that will appeal to the horror crowd, it’s not strictly a horror flick. It’s a biker flick with horror elements, like Werewolves on Wheels or Northville Cemetery Massacre. It starts off like a marauding biker flick. Then they invade the cabin and terrorize the inhabitants. At this point it reminded me of a flick called Fight for your Life, only without the racial overtones. Maybe a better-known example would be House on the Edge of the Park with five David Hesses. Anyway, it then shifts into a combination of monster movie, splatter flick, and acid trip cinema. It is a mashup of many different exploitation subgenres, and they all blend together into a potent and insanely enjoyable cocktail. The film has a wicked sense of humor throughout, but about halfway there is a seismic shift in tone. The rape scene that occurs is intense. I don’t want to give anything away, so I’ll just say that there are some complex juxtapositions going on and just when you think they can’t go any farther, they do. Then it’s right back to the tone of the first half, which is great. It makes that one scene stand out. Serious kudos are due to the actresses in this sequence. What’s impressive though, is that the movie, despite its excesses, works on different levels. It actually does have a heart. They may be buried under a lot of blood and guts, but if you pay attention there are some emotional concepts at play.

I really only have one issue with the flick. During the opening credits sequence of the Impalers riding, they continually play to the camera; looking into it, yelling at it, flipping it off, and making faces directly into the lens. None of the characters was supposed to “be” the camera. I don’t get what the point of breaking the fourth wall like that at the beginning of the film if you’re not going to call back to it later. It just didn’t make sense to me. If that is the only thing a nitpicker like me can complain about in your flick, you’ve certainly done something right.

At the after party, James Bickert told me a great story. There’s a scene in the film involving an exploding van at a drive in. After being told not to include flour in the charge, the man in charge of the stunt did just that. The result was an explosion that was much larger than expected that nearly set the entire drive-in (Starlight Six in Atlanta) on fire. While everyone was freaking out and trying to put the fire out, he saw all of the burning kudzu and decided to take the opportunity to shoot some footage of an actor walking in front of the flames that ended up being used in the film. If that’s not the epitome of DIY, guerrilla, “fly by the seat of your pants” filmmaking, I don’t know what is.

Dear God No is violent, bloody, sleazy, offensive, and in incredibly bad taste…and I wouldn’t want it any other way. It’s a breakneck ride to hell and back that’s got cult classic written all over it. Plus, it’s a homegrown Georgia production with Atlanta talent, and I’m all about that. The filmmakers expect it to be available on DVD in early 2012. Until then it’s on the festival circuit. Be sure to check out their website HERE to find out when it’s going to be playing near you. Those of you who miss down and dirty, pull no punches, sick fun flicks; rejoice, they’re back! This one comes with my highest possible recommendation. Is there any way in hell you should miss this flick? Dear God No! Two severed thumbs up. Nathan says check it out.