Monday, June 6, 2011

30 Day Horror Challenge Strikes Back Day 6: Character you want to, um, have sexual relations with.

I apologize in advance to any of my female readers who think this sounds all sexist. Hell, I’m just answering the question honestly. I am but a man. My, my, my, this certainly is quite the sexually charged list of questions, now isn’t it? Crushes, who you wanna get it on with, who you most enjoyed getting’ nekkid, vamp you would let bite you (come on, who isn’t going sexual with that one?), I mean, damn! Well, anyway, this is the question that’s most “straight to the point.” Not a lot of analysis needed on this one. Just down and dirty “who do you think is hot.” I’m cool with that. For the record though, this question did come down to a three way tie between my crush (Elvira), the character I ended up picking, and one that will come up later in the challenge. With that said, I went with Tiffany from Bride of Chucky. The actual woman, not the doll. Sickos.

First off, she’s played by Jennifer Tilly. I’ve always thought she was ungodly amounts of gorgeous. She’s Asian American, and I have a weakness for the exotic ones. She’s got a sly looking little smile that gets me every time. I would also be remiss if I didn’t mention that great pair of big, beautiful, tantalizing, luscious…um…eyes. Yeah, eyes. She’s voluptuous, which is becoming a rarity amongst actresses these days. For the most part I’m not into those anorexic looking chicks (Fairuza Balk not included). In short, she is an amazing looking woman. Then, you put her in this movie. Normally I don’t really go for blondes, but in this case I would make an exception. Oh man, the wardrobe they put her in came straight out of my dreams. I have a weakness for goth girls too. She looks ridiculously sexy all gothed out. That corset and garter belt thing she’s working in that one scene? Are you kidding me? It doesn’t get any hotter than that! Well, it did need some fishnets, but that’s a minor technicality. She already had hand and ankle restraints attached to the bed, so you know she’s kinky. They were regular handcuffs, so she might be a bondage rookie, but I can work with that. On top of all that, she’s crazy, so she’s just the type of gal that is usually attracted to me.

Basically, this role let her show off her impressive, hypnotic, perky…um…talent, and I loved it. Yeah, I know, that one didn’t really work, did it? Fine, I like ‘em busty. There, I said it. Plus, with that voice, I’ve always wondered what kind of noises I could get her to make. Ok, I’m done. I think I’m gonna go watch the first half hour of Bride of Chucky now. Then, I’m gonna take a cold shower.


cash said...

As sexy as she is, if I had my pick to bang a horror broad it wouldn't be Jennifer Tilly. I'll leave that to Phil Laak.

Lets see here, so many to choose from...How about Kim Myers from Nightmare II or maybe Lar Park Lincoln from Friday 7. Linnea Quigley if we can rewind to 1985. Of course, I'd be 9 again. Not sure if that would work. :(

Anonymous said...

I'd totally get it on with Jennifer Tilly!! It would be even better if I could get Gina Gershawn (think that's how you spell the last name)in the mix too!! That sex scene in 'Bound' between the 2 of them is sooooo HOT!

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