Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Update: The Universal Monsters Hot Wheels Have Been Found

WAIT!!!  Before you read this, go to THIS LINK.  Have that song playing as you read this post.  Also, imagine these words in the 40's Universal trailer font.  Ok, now read…

The greatest monsters ever to stalk the silver screen bring you die cast horror spawned by the devil!  Six spine-chilling vehicles mean five times the chills!  Feel the madness as terror grips your local seasonal items aisle!

RECOIL IN HORROR as Hot Wheels tries to tell you that the bad ass Bride of Frankenstein ’59 Cadillac Hearse is actually a “Funny Car!”

THRILL to the Wolfman’s rape van!

GASP at The Creature from the Black Lagoon’s… what is that?  A low flow?  What the hell is a low flow?  Do those actually exist?

DRACULA.  FRANKENSTEIN.  THE MUMMY.  They’re all here in the greatest 4 heeled, blood soaked orgy of scares ever to be mounted on a display card!

I captured these elusive ghastly beasts at Kroger.  It’s been whispered that they lurk in some Walmarts too (mainly in the midwest and west coast areas).  Do you have the guts to collect them all?  Can you handle any more hyperbole?  Yes, Universal Monsters Hot Wheels are finally hitting shelves.  Get them now... or else!

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