Monday, August 19, 2013

At Midnight, I'll Give Away A One-of-a-Kind Coffin Joe Figure


My readers.  My friends.  My Cellmates. I love each and every one of you.  I want you to keep that in mind when I say that every now and then I f**king hate you!  This is one of those times.  Of course, I say that purely out of jealousy.  You see, you guys all have a chance at winning one of the coolest things I’ve ever given away here on SOC.  Something unspeakably bad ass.  Something I really want to keep for myself, dammit.  Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, this one of a kind custom Coffin Joe figure!



For those of you uninitiated into the cult of José Mojica Marins, oh man are you missing out.  This South American horror maverick embodies the spirit of independent cinema every bit as much as John Waters, Kenneth Anger, or Astron-6.  His transgressive, hallucinogenic films have always been both popular and controversial in his native Brazil, and are finding more and more of an audience around the world partially thanks to a 2001 documentary.  I make no claims about the legality of it being on youtube, but for what it’s worth you can watch it here…




Marins has made over 50 exploitation flicks, but his greatest creation is, inarguably, Coffin Joe.  Known in Brazil as Zé do Caixão, his top hat, cape, and long fingernails have become so associated with Marins that he and the character are almost indistinguishable.  The diabolical mortician hates religion, despises mankind, and is only interested in finding a woman capable of taking his pure evil seed.  Coffin Joe is one of the greatest horror characters ever devised, and in a perfect world his amazing speeches would be as quoted as anything Freddy Krueger ever said.  There’s a Region 2 DVD box set of most of the  Coffin Joe flicks (all except Embodiment of Evil and The Bloody Exorcism of Coffin Joe) that can be had for under 30 bucks.  It’s the reason I bought a region free player in the first place.  If you’ve never seen one of his films, you owe it to yourself to track these titles down NOW!



-         At Midnight I’ll Take Your Soul

-         This Night I Will Possess Your Corpse

-         The Strange World of Coffin Joe

-         The Awakening of the Beast

-         End of Man

-         The Bloody Exorcism of Coffin Joe

-         The Strange Hostel of Naked Pleasures

-         Hellish Flesh

-         Hallucinations of a Deranged Mind

-         Embodiment of Evil




I first became aware of the incredibly talented Jacob Klingele when Guts and Grog gave away an amazing custom figure of a Nixon Vixen from Dear God No!.  I found out it was the work of the man behind VonKlingele Kustoms and had to contact him.  Throughout us talking, he kindly agreed to make a figure for me to offer to all of you.  When I started thinking of who I had never seen a figure of that most deserved one, Coffin Joe was the first name that came to mind.  I thought about others, but none could unseat him.  Now that I see this unholy creation, I’m awestruck.  I’m sure you all agree that it’s incredible.  Obviously, Jacob is the guy to contact for all of your custom figure needs.  I warn you though, I can’t promise that having this fun sized effigy of the wicked one himself won’t have strange effects on you.  You may see spiders and snakes coming out of the walls.  You may be inundated with visions of hell.  You may find yourself unable to cut your fingernails or resist pontificating about the “continuity of blood.”  You may find yourself constantly surrounded by beautiful, topless women.  Results may vary.  I also want to reiterate that this figure is a one of a kind custom.  Whoever winds up with this will own the only one in the world.  How cool is that?

So, how do you take this prize home?  There are two steps…

  1. You must “like” both the Son of Celluloid and VonKlingele Kustoms facebook pages.  Yes, this is a requirement.
  2. I want to know that this bad boy is going to an actual Coffin Joe fan.  Leave a comment on this post with your email address and something about why you dig Coffin Joe.  What you like about his movies, your favorite of his flicks, your favorite quote, his beard’s sexy, he’s the reason you grew 3 foot long fingernails, whatever.  Just say something to let me know that this killer prize is gonna go to someone who will fully appreciate how cool it is.
That’s all there is to it folks.  On September 2 I’m gonna throw all of these names into my top hat (because it’s oh so apropos) and randomly pick a winner.  The only restriction is that, due to the recent ridiculous spike in international shipping rates, this one is unfortunately only open to US residents.  Sorry.  Blame the USPS.  So, that gives you two weeks to enter to win and go check out the killer stuff VonKlingele Kustoms has to offer.  As for me, I'm going to the crossroads by the graveyard. Anyone want to follow me?

17 comments:

Chris Bennett said...

Chrisbennett.ok@gmail.com

I've been a huge fan of Coffin Joe ever since I picked up the coffin shaped box set that was released while back. His films always felt ahead of their time, especially the first few CJ movies. I'm actually meeting the man in October and I cannot wait!

Dr. Jimmy TERROR said...

Something about Coffin Joe reminds me of The Wizard of Gore. His look is iconic and creepy even though it seems like the most basic of costumes. I love that Necrophagia wrote a song about him. I am reviewing the Synapse release of Embodiment of Evil this October, my first time seeing it. Great giveaway brotha. Grindhousehorror@gmail.com

Artie Mondello said...

I actually hosted the Coffin Joe doc at the Florida Film Festival in 2001 -- we showed it in the luxurious Annie Russell Theatre, which was a more than fitting backdrop for the atrocities within! In fact, just this weekend I had “At Midnight I’ll Steal Your Soul” playing as backdrop for a rock ‘n’ roll party in the basement… Anyway, I'm artie(a)themondellos.com...

Nathan Erdel said...

kaijupunk@yahoo.com

I LOVE Coffin Joe. What's great about him? EVERYTHING. I'd say the biggest thing that I love about Coffin Joe is how "ahead of his time" the character, and the films, were... he was an iconic boogeyman before that idea had become over-saturated. He is also, despite being a terrible villain, a sort of dashing figure - top hat, cape, etc - and so I count him in the same category as all my favorite villains - a gentleman monster! Dracula, Dr. Phibes, The Phantom of the Opera... and Coffin Joe - all gentleman monsters! Incidentally, this type of villain has inspired my own horror-host character, Pretorius Dark of Bloomington, Indiana (https://www.facebook.com/PretoriusDark) and my production company, Gentleman Monster Productions... so, as you can see, I'm trying to keep the dark legacy of monsters such as Coffin Joe alive and well (although, you'll forgive me when I say I keep my nails trim... I gotta leave the long nails up to good ole Ze himself).

Lisa Mclain said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lisa Mclain said...

His is the one beard that is not sexy... its horribly horribly HORRIBLY creepy...ew. His lips give me the heebiejeebies :shudders: cocktailflamingo@icloud.com

R. Oliver said...

Coffin Joe is truly a living legend among us fans! He is Eerie, he is Creepy and he is BADASS!!! In my depraved mind, I think all us Horror fanboys wishes we were him! If only my wish could come true!

Ronald


oliverspendulum at yahoo dot com

Crazy Ivan said...

IBeen a big fan since 2008, when a buddy of mine, Raymond Castille, got to play Young Coffin Joe in "Embodiment of Evil". He now ranks up there with Count Waldemar Daninsky as one of my favorite indy horror figures.

Jason Duron said...

When I was younger, my dad and I used to watch a lot of Spanish horror together, mostly Paul Naschy stuff. When the Coffin Joe coffin box set came out back in 2003, I blindly bought it not knowing the awesomeness I was about to be subjected to. I immediately brought them over to watch them with my dad and relive some of those moments again from my childhood. Ever since that, I've been a huge fan of Coffin Joe.

jason.duron82@gmail.com

Amanda Duron said...

Never heard of the Coffin Joe movies until I met my nerdy husband. I thought they were going to be silly like most of the horror movies he watches, but as a fan of foreign films, I was slightly intrigued by them. Now, I am totally addicted to them. If only he were a woman; I'd love to have him wear my custom nail polishes, lol.

amanda.duron@gmail.com

Jose Lima said...

josekrueger@gmail.com

I love Coffin Joe and his dark sarcasm, such as when he rapes the girl in the first movie and when she tells him that he ruined her, he responds with "they all say that." I also like when he offers to size the people at the bar for their coffins. His wit and cynicism are the best! My favorite was the first movie, but Embodiment of Evil was pretty amazing as well. It was the first time that I can recall a movie making my ex-girlfriend squirm. She was usually pretty hardcore. If I win the figure, I will display it atop one of my book cases between two black candlesticks. I already have the Coffin Joe box set on top of my other book case.

Mark Gust said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mark Gust said...

CREEPY!!! I love Marin's comment: I never managed to portray the biggest horror of my life, a vagina full of gonorrhea. gustoshere@gmail.com

Chad said...

I picked up the coffin set just after it was released a little over 10 years ago and have been a fan ever since. Then I sought out his other movies. I continue revisiting his films to this day and that's probably due to him being so different that he's pretty much in a category by himself. To me he's the Ingmar Bergman of Gothic horror.

rightguard at gmail dot com

Patrick Boyle said...

prboyle@gmail.com

When I was 16, I purchased At Midnight I'll Take Your Soul from Something Weird Video. The opening "warning" and title sequence had me hooked - it was like a stumbled upon some forbidden sludge carnival where I would see things that I have never seen before.

The Vicar of VHS said...

vicarofvhs@gmail.com

Ever since I first laid eyes on THIS NIGHT I'LL POSSESS YOUR CORPSE, I've been a devotee of the cult of Ze. I've reviewed many of his films on my site MAD MAD MAD MAD MOVIES, each one a love letter to the Brazilian mad man (I won't spam link, but you can go there and look for the labels "Jose Mojica Marins" and "Coffin Joe" to experience the gushing). I've sung his praises to friends and relatives, forced them to watch the flicks under great duress, baffled people all around Little Rock, AR with my Ze do Caixaio t-shirt, and am planning someday to add his likeness to my horror half-sleeve tattoo, right next to the face of Paul Naschy.

What do I like about him? He is an absolutely unique figure in world horror cinema, a filmmaker who accomplished amazing feats with almost no resources, and someone who has broken boundaries his entire career--and continues to do so. As an actor, he's got charisma to burn, a terrifying screen presence from which you cannot look away. He is, in short, a genius.

Awesome giveaway! Hope hope hope...

Mike Presson said...

I'm reading this a year after it's posted. Oh, well, AWESOME Coffin Joe figure, someone got lucky!

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