My readers. My
friends. My Cellmates. I love each and
every one of you. I want you to keep
that in mind when I say that every now and then I f**king hate you! This is one of those times. Of course, I say that purely out of
jealousy. You see, you guys all have a
chance at winning one of the coolest things I’ve ever given away here on
SOC. Something unspeakably bad
ass. Something I really want to keep
for myself, dammit. Ladies and
gentlemen, I present to you, this one of a kind custom Coffin Joe figure!
For those of you uninitiated into the cult of José Mojica
Marins, oh man are you missing out.
This South American horror maverick embodies the spirit of independent
cinema every bit as much as John Waters, Kenneth Anger, or Astron-6. His transgressive, hallucinogenic films have
always been both popular and controversial in his native Brazil, and are
finding more and more of an audience around the world partially thanks to a
2001 documentary. I make no claims
about the legality of it being on youtube, but for what it’s worth you can
watch it here…
Marins has made over 50 exploitation flicks, but his
greatest creation is, inarguably, Coffin Joe.
Known in Brazil as Zé do Caixão, his top hat, cape, and long fingernails
have become so associated with Marins that he and the character are almost
indistinguishable. The diabolical
mortician hates religion, despises mankind, and is only interested in finding a
woman capable of taking his pure evil seed.
Coffin Joe is one of the greatest horror characters ever devised, and in
a perfect world his amazing speeches would be as quoted as anything Freddy
Krueger ever said. There’s a Region 2
DVD box set of most of the Coffin Joe
flicks (all except Embodiment of Evil and The Bloody Exorcism of
Coffin Joe) that can be had for under 30 bucks. It’s the reason I bought a region free player in the first
place. If you’ve never seen one of his
films, you owe it to yourself to track these titles down NOW!
-
At Midnight I’ll Take Your Soul
-
This Night I Will Possess Your Corpse
-
The Strange World of Coffin Joe
-
The Awakening of the Beast
-
End of Man
-
The Bloody Exorcism of Coffin Joe
-
The Strange Hostel of Naked Pleasures
-
Hellish Flesh
-
Hallucinations of a Deranged Mind
-
Embodiment of Evil
I first became aware of the incredibly talented Jacob
Klingele when Guts and Grog gave away an amazing custom figure of a Nixon Vixen
from Dear God No!. I found out
it was the work of the man behind VonKlingele Kustoms and had to contact
him. Throughout us talking, he kindly
agreed to make a figure for me to offer to all of you. When I started thinking of who I had never
seen a figure of that most deserved one, Coffin Joe was the first name that
came to mind. I thought about others,
but none could unseat him. Now that I
see this unholy creation, I’m awestruck.
I’m sure you all agree that it’s incredible. Obviously, Jacob is the guy to contact for all of your custom
figure needs. I warn you though, I
can’t promise that having this fun sized effigy of the wicked one himself won’t
have strange effects on you. You may
see spiders and snakes coming out of the walls. You may be inundated with visions of hell. You may find yourself unable to cut your
fingernails or resist pontificating about the “continuity of blood.” You may find yourself constantly surrounded
by beautiful, topless women. Results
may vary. I also want to reiterate that
this figure is a one of a kind custom.
Whoever winds up with this will own the only one in the world. How cool is that?
So, how do you take this prize home? There are two steps…
- You must “like” both the Son of Celluloid and VonKlingele Kustoms facebook pages. Yes, this is a requirement.
- I want to know that this bad boy is going to an actual Coffin Joe fan. Leave a comment on this post with your email address and something about why you dig Coffin Joe. What you like about his movies, your favorite of his flicks, your favorite quote, his beard’s sexy, he’s the reason you grew 3 foot long fingernails, whatever. Just say something to let me know that this killer prize is gonna go to someone who will fully appreciate how cool it is.
17 comments:
Chrisbennett.ok@gmail.com
I've been a huge fan of Coffin Joe ever since I picked up the coffin shaped box set that was released while back. His films always felt ahead of their time, especially the first few CJ movies. I'm actually meeting the man in October and I cannot wait!
Something about Coffin Joe reminds me of The Wizard of Gore. His look is iconic and creepy even though it seems like the most basic of costumes. I love that Necrophagia wrote a song about him. I am reviewing the Synapse release of Embodiment of Evil this October, my first time seeing it. Great giveaway brotha. Grindhousehorror@gmail.com
I actually hosted the Coffin Joe doc at the Florida Film Festival in 2001 -- we showed it in the luxurious Annie Russell Theatre, which was a more than fitting backdrop for the atrocities within! In fact, just this weekend I had “At Midnight I’ll Steal Your Soul” playing as backdrop for a rock ‘n’ roll party in the basement… Anyway, I'm artie(a)themondellos.com...
kaijupunk@yahoo.com
I LOVE Coffin Joe. What's great about him? EVERYTHING. I'd say the biggest thing that I love about Coffin Joe is how "ahead of his time" the character, and the films, were... he was an iconic boogeyman before that idea had become over-saturated. He is also, despite being a terrible villain, a sort of dashing figure - top hat, cape, etc - and so I count him in the same category as all my favorite villains - a gentleman monster! Dracula, Dr. Phibes, The Phantom of the Opera... and Coffin Joe - all gentleman monsters! Incidentally, this type of villain has inspired my own horror-host character, Pretorius Dark of Bloomington, Indiana (https://www.facebook.com/PretoriusDark) and my production company, Gentleman Monster Productions... so, as you can see, I'm trying to keep the dark legacy of monsters such as Coffin Joe alive and well (although, you'll forgive me when I say I keep my nails trim... I gotta leave the long nails up to good ole Ze himself).
His is the one beard that is not sexy... its horribly horribly HORRIBLY creepy...ew. His lips give me the heebiejeebies :shudders: cocktailflamingo@icloud.com
Coffin Joe is truly a living legend among us fans! He is Eerie, he is Creepy and he is BADASS!!! In my depraved mind, I think all us Horror fanboys wishes we were him! If only my wish could come true!
Ronald
oliverspendulum at yahoo dot com
IBeen a big fan since 2008, when a buddy of mine, Raymond Castille, got to play Young Coffin Joe in "Embodiment of Evil". He now ranks up there with Count Waldemar Daninsky as one of my favorite indy horror figures.
When I was younger, my dad and I used to watch a lot of Spanish horror together, mostly Paul Naschy stuff. When the Coffin Joe coffin box set came out back in 2003, I blindly bought it not knowing the awesomeness I was about to be subjected to. I immediately brought them over to watch them with my dad and relive some of those moments again from my childhood. Ever since that, I've been a huge fan of Coffin Joe.
jason.duron82@gmail.com
Never heard of the Coffin Joe movies until I met my nerdy husband. I thought they were going to be silly like most of the horror movies he watches, but as a fan of foreign films, I was slightly intrigued by them. Now, I am totally addicted to them. If only he were a woman; I'd love to have him wear my custom nail polishes, lol.
amanda.duron@gmail.com
josekrueger@gmail.com
I love Coffin Joe and his dark sarcasm, such as when he rapes the girl in the first movie and when she tells him that he ruined her, he responds with "they all say that." I also like when he offers to size the people at the bar for their coffins. His wit and cynicism are the best! My favorite was the first movie, but Embodiment of Evil was pretty amazing as well. It was the first time that I can recall a movie making my ex-girlfriend squirm. She was usually pretty hardcore. If I win the figure, I will display it atop one of my book cases between two black candlesticks. I already have the Coffin Joe box set on top of my other book case.
CREEPY!!! I love Marin's comment: I never managed to portray the biggest horror of my life, a vagina full of gonorrhea. gustoshere@gmail.com
I picked up the coffin set just after it was released a little over 10 years ago and have been a fan ever since. Then I sought out his other movies. I continue revisiting his films to this day and that's probably due to him being so different that he's pretty much in a category by himself. To me he's the Ingmar Bergman of Gothic horror.
rightguard at gmail dot com
prboyle@gmail.com
When I was 16, I purchased At Midnight I'll Take Your Soul from Something Weird Video. The opening "warning" and title sequence had me hooked - it was like a stumbled upon some forbidden sludge carnival where I would see things that I have never seen before.
vicarofvhs@gmail.com
Ever since I first laid eyes on THIS NIGHT I'LL POSSESS YOUR CORPSE, I've been a devotee of the cult of Ze. I've reviewed many of his films on my site MAD MAD MAD MAD MOVIES, each one a love letter to the Brazilian mad man (I won't spam link, but you can go there and look for the labels "Jose Mojica Marins" and "Coffin Joe" to experience the gushing). I've sung his praises to friends and relatives, forced them to watch the flicks under great duress, baffled people all around Little Rock, AR with my Ze do Caixaio t-shirt, and am planning someday to add his likeness to my horror half-sleeve tattoo, right next to the face of Paul Naschy.
What do I like about him? He is an absolutely unique figure in world horror cinema, a filmmaker who accomplished amazing feats with almost no resources, and someone who has broken boundaries his entire career--and continues to do so. As an actor, he's got charisma to burn, a terrifying screen presence from which you cannot look away. He is, in short, a genius.
Awesome giveaway! Hope hope hope...
I'm reading this a year after it's posted. Oh, well, AWESOME Coffin Joe figure, someone got lucky!
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