Review: Crack Whore

This movie is called Crack Whore.  There.  I probably don’t even need to write a review now.  That’s one of those titles that, upon hearing it, you already know if you want to see it or not.  If you’re still reading this, you’re probably the type of sicko that would dig this movie.  How do I know?  Because everyone else has already said “Ugh, Crack Whore?  I would never watch a movie with a name like that.”  Therefore, if you’re waiting to hear my thoughts on Crack Whore, you’d probably like it.  In the words of Jabba the Hutt, you’re my kind of scum.  But they don’t pay me the big bucks to not… bahahahaha… sorry, I couldn’t even type that with a straight face. Let’s try that again.  But you don’t come here for me to just say “the title says it all,” so let’s break this sucker down, shall we?

Synopsis: The story of a Crack addicted prostitute named Honey. A girl who goes to a party out in the desert where she falls victim to drugs and gang rape. Spoon feeding herself crack, Honey decides to settle the score.

I do believe that this movie has ushered in a whole new subgenre of exploitation cinema; the rape revenge comedy.  Yes, the rape revenge comedy.  Actually, the flick is mainly a comedy about  dirty, drugged out hicks and hookers out in the desert that’s book-ended by a rape revenge story.  As we all know, I’m notoriously picky about my comedy, especially my low brow comedy.  I will admit, when I saw that the flick was from a company called Fart House Cinema, I was a little worried.  My worried were unfounded, however, because Crack Whore definitely made me laugh.  Hard.

My favorite scene has to be the POV rape scene.  It was, hands down, the most hilarious rape scene in movie history.  On the list of sentences I never imagined that I would ever type, that last one is pretty high.  Anyway, the best part of that scene, and for my money the best part of the whole flick, is George Troester’s performance as Cornfed.  From the rape scene on, I don’t think there was a moment he was on screen when I wasn’t laughing.  Most of the dialog in the film has a very improvised feel.  If it was improvised, then the actors deserve a LOT of credit for some of the lines they came up with.  If it wasn’t improvised, then writer/director Lance Polland deserves massive credit for writing some hilarious stuff and the actors get credit for making it seem so natural.  Either way, the actors get major kudos.  Even with the characters that I didn’t find all that funny, like Bubba Ray, the performers, in this case Christopher Raff, are to be commended for their dedication to their roles, because they certainly do play them to the hilt.

The yucks aren’t all the movie has to offer though.  There’s some nice low budget gore once the “revenge” portion kicks in.  I know I focused on the rapists earlier, but leading lady Julianne Tura and supporting redneck David C Hayes both bring a lot to the proceedings.  Director Polland makes the absolute most of the desert location, which looks great.  There are a couple of really cool camera angles used.  I won’t give away the best shot, but I will say that it happens during a disemboweling.  You’ll know the one I’m talking about when you see it.  There are also the tits, which are always a plus, especially in a welcome psychedelic interlude.  The soundtrack is perfectly chosen and used to accentuate the white trash rocker feeling of the film.  Don’t read that as a knock on the music.  I really liked the music.  It’s probably got the best raunch-rock soundtrack since Dear God No.  Here’s how you know a soundtrack is good; I rewound the credits just so I could google the bands.

My only real quibbles with Crack Whore are some pacing issues.  A couple of scenes just go on a little too long.  For instance, I’m cool with Honey having a dance scene on the pool table.  But, if it’s gonna go on for almost three minutes, no matter how hot she is (and make no mistake about it, she is pretty damn hot), nudity is required.  That’s just the law of the exploitation jungle.  She got naked later, so I’m curious as to why she didn’t in that scene.  Not that it wasn’t a - let’s just say - “enjoyable” scene, it just needed a payoff.  The Happy Land scene, however, drug.  It had good music, but it took too long getting where it needed to go and got repetitive.  Aside from that, the only issues are the kind of questionable details that may or may not have been intentional; like why did her bruises wash off in the shower and, if she just got gang raped, why are her panties still on?

Crack Whore is exactly what it sounds like, a sleazy exploitation flick that isn’t meant to be taken even remotely seriously.  It’s more Dumb and Dumber than Ms. 45, but I respect that.  It would have been easy to follow the well-trodden I Spit On Your Grave path, but I’m glad the makers of this film, many of whom were involved in the making of Bloody Bloody Bible Camp (which, after watching this flick, I really need to see), took the road less traveled.  A rape revenge comedy may sound like a far-fetched concept, but I’m glad the makers of this film took a crack at it.  One and a half severed thumbs up.  Nathan says check it out.