Thursday, January 3, 2013

It's Son of Celluloid's Second Bloody Birthday!


January 3, 2011.  It is a day that will live in infamy.  On that day, Son of Celluloid was born.  Yes, it’s the blog’s second birthday.  I really can’t believe it’s been that long.  It sure has been a hell of a year, huh?  I got to do some things this year that I never thought I would get to do.  I got another cover quote, I appeared in magazines, I got to interview celebrities, I celebrated Halloween with some of my favorite horror icons.  You know, bucket list stuff.  We did, unfortunately, lose a member of the Cellmate family in Joe of EC3.  Above all else, though, I got to interact with the coolest people in the horror scene, you guys.  Actually, that brings me to something I need to get off my chest.  Yeah, there’s a rant coming.  Sorry.
Recently, someone said something to me that kinda pissed me off.  He (who shall remain nameless) said that me calling all of you my “Cellmates” was a good marketing gimmick.  He was implying that I was being disingenuous about it, like I was trying to brand you guys like Deadheads, Juggalos, Maggots, or the Kiss Army.  F**k that.  I want you all to know that’s not what it means at all.  It’s a term of endearment, because I really do love all of you sick freaks.  When I say that I’m lucky as hell to have the best readers on the planet, I mean it.  I consider each and every one of you my friends.  I also know that none of the opportunities that have arisen out of Son of Celluloid would be possible without you guys.  I’ll always be a horror movie addict with a big mouth no matter what, and I do put a lot of effort into the blog, but if you guys weren’t willing to take this trip through the genre we all love and the dark recesses of my mind with me, there would be no Son of Celluloid. So, I think this celebration of two years of this insanity is a perfect time to say thank you.  If you lurk around and read my mad ramblings about horror flicks, thank you.  If you comment and get involved, thank you.  If you spread the word, thank you.  If I’ve known you for years and you’ve supported me since the beginning, thank you.  If you just joined the party, thank you.  If you’ve ever sent me a screener, done an interview, or contributed to one of my hair-brained ideas, thank you.  Thank you to my comrades in arms, the other Horror Blogger All Stars.  Basically, I just want to thank everyone in the legion of Cellmates for another kick ass year.  It has exceeded my hopes in every way.  I hope you all stick around for year 3; I’ve got some cool stuff planned for you guys.
Now, with that being said, I do need to ask for your help.  I’m about to make an announcement that will shake Son of Celluloid to its very core.  I’m about to say something I never thought I would say…I think the “Severed Thumbs” rating system has outlived its usefulness.  Yes, I’m partial to it too, but lately it’s begun to seem kinda limiting.  I’ve found, for example, that I give a whole lot of “one and a half severed thumbs up” scores, and that there is a wide range of quality to the flicks I’ve given that ranking to.  Some may not have quite deserved it, but they were a little too good for just one thumb.  Maybe they were a little too good for one and a half, but not quite two.  I’m not doing quarter thumbs.  That would just be ridiculous.  Therefore, sometime in the near future, I wanna switch to a 1-10 scoring system.  That’s where you guys come in.  I need a good scoring system.  I’ve racked my brain, and I can’t think of a good one.  You know, something that sounds cool when you say, “I give this flick five out of 10 _________s.”  What I need from you is suggestions.  What should the new official SOC scoring system be?  Leave a comment, leave your idea on the Facebook page, email me, whatever.  If you’re artistically inclined and your idea comes with some kind of cool graphic, even better.  There’s no real prize for this besides my eternal gratitude, the envy of all the other Cellmates, and the knowledge that you gave the beloved Severed Thumbs a fitting successor.  Come on, what else could you ever need?
So, thank you all again for making my second year of blogging amazing.  Get those ranking system ideas in and stay tuned, ‘cause SOC’s next big giveaway will get underway later on today.

6 comments:

Chris Hewson said...

How about "I give this flick 5 Butchered Slasher Killers out of 10"?

Dr. Jimmy TERROR said...

Model it after the various rating board certifications ie H, X, PG-13 BUT make it distinctly SoC, fearless and completely irreverent. It woulf demark quality of course but could also be content suggestive as well.

giovanni deldio said...

I say do something like I give this flick whatever out of 4 (or 5, your choice) exploding heads.

Cole said...

I used to always joke about brain worms "Have you that brain worms!?" "I have a terrible headache, must be the brain worms" etc. Totally stole it from Zim. That was until I recently found out that BRAIN WORMS ARE REAL. http://blogs.scientificamerican.com/guest-blog/2012/09/06/tapeworm-in-her-brain/
http://discovermagazine.com/2012/jun/03-hidden-epidemic-tapeworms-in-the-brain
Now I am terrified of the freaking brain worms. So, because they are officially the scariest boogey men (boogey worms) in the history of ever, you should rate your reviews 1-10 brain worms.

James VanValkenburg said...

Do it like 5-stars, 0-5 by 1/2s (giving you a zero to ten possible scale), but instead of stars... pentagrams

Cole said...

OK, even though I stand by my brain worms idea, I had a flash of brilliance while thrashing about the bed cursing insomnia this morning. You should do a 1-10 scale specific to each movie. Sum up the villain, monster, nightmare, fear inducing main plot point, whatever makes the movie a horror movie, in one to three words. You will only be limited by your own creativity and it will be a scale that is uniquely SOC. Some brainstorms: Nazis at the Center of the Earth - 7 robot Hitler stem cell heads (admittedly more than 1-3 words) Silent Night, Deadly Night - 5 homicidal santas. The Beyond - 8 'try a freaking headshot already!' Zombi 2 - 9 EPIC ZOMBIE VS SHARK FIGHTS. Yours would of course be much better but you get the point.

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