The Horror Movie Darwin Awards #14: Sidney in Scream.

Thanks to Scream taking this particular cliché to task, whenever you mention stupid things people do in horror flicks the first one people usually mention is “when the girl runs up the stairs instead of outside. That’s what happens in Scream. When Sidney is on the phone with Ghostface, she even says (about horror movies) “They’re all the same; some stupid killer stalking some big breasted girl who can’t act who’s always running up the stairs when she should be running out the front door. It’s insulting.” Then, when she’s attacked, she tries to run out the front door, finds it chained, and retreats up the stairs. Ok Kevin and Wes, I get it. It’s supposed to be ironic. Don’t ya’ think? But it’s a little too idiotic…and yeah I really do think.

Take a look at this picture. This is the foyer containing the stairs and front door. She just came through that first door on the left, there’s another door behind that on the left, and the entire back of the room opens into another room. That’s three other options. We are never given a clear look at what’s on the right, but if the design is like most other houses, there is at least one other opening there. We’re only going to count the three we’re sure about though. She also totally had time to unchain the front door, but we’re not going to count that either. So, we officially have 3 escape routes that don’t involve going upstairs, which according to her comments, she already knows is a bad idea. Yet she ignores the three easier and safer escape routes in favor of the damn steps. Unbelievable. So Sid, how did that work out for you?

Awww, your boyfriend showed up to save you. Sid sure knows how to pick ‘em, huh? She lived, so she did get off easy, but she proved once and for all that the stairs have a magical attraction to women running for their lives. Congratulations Sidney, you are today’s winner by virtue of your making fun of a cliché, then not only becoming the cliché, but taking it up a notch. Way to go dumbass!