Update: The Universal Monsters Hot Wheels Have Been Found

WAIT!!!  Before you read this, go to THIS LINK.  Have that song playing as you read this post.  Also, imagine these words in the 40's Universal trailer font.  Ok, now read…

The greatest monsters ever to stalk the silver screen bring you die cast horror spawned by the devil!  Six spine-chilling vehicles mean five times the chills!  Feel the madness as terror grips your local seasonal items aisle!

RECOIL IN HORROR as Hot Wheels tries to tell you that the bad ass Bride of Frankenstein ’59 Cadillac Hearse is actually a “Funny Car!”

THRILL to the Wolfman’s rape van!

GASP at The Creature from the Black Lagoon’s… what is that?  A low flow?  What the hell is a low flow?  Do those actually exist?

DRACULA.  FRANKENSTEIN.  THE MUMMY.  They’re all here in the greatest 4 heeled, blood soaked orgy of scares ever to be mounted on a display card!

I captured these elusive ghastly beasts at Kroger.  It’s been whispered that they lurk in some Walmarts too (mainly in the midwest and west coast areas).  Do you have the guts to collect them all?  Can you handle any more hyperbole?  Yes, Universal Monsters Hot Wheels are finally hitting shelves.  Get them now... or else!

Cool Collectible Alert: Hot Wheels 2013 Universal Monster Series

I want to thank my hearse driving homie Kevin for alerting me to the existence of what might be the coolest mainstream toy release of the year.  When you were a kid, you were all about Hot Wheels, weren't you?  Yeah, so was I.  Well, it's time to rekindle your love of die-cast cars because it just ran head on into your love of monsters.  Fearnet reported back in April that Hot Wheels was releasing a line of Universal Monster themed vehicles.  Now they've hit ebay and are starting to trickle into toy stores.  Most of the reported sightings are on the west coast at the moment, but word is that they will start appearing across the country in the next few weeks.  These are sure to get snapped up quick because, um... just look at them!  These are sweet.  Plus, the artwork on the packaging is cool as hell.  My favorite is definitely the Bride of Frankenstein 1959 Caddy Funny Car because, whether they wanna call it one or not, that's a freakin' hearse.  My favorite car and my favorite Universal horror flick together?  Count me in.  That Wolfman Van kicks ass too.  Yeah, it says it's a bus, but doesn't the phrase "Wolfman Van" have a great ring to it?  Whichever one is your favorite, you might want to start patrolling those toy aisles.  I mean, yeah you can get them easily on ebay.  Isn't the chase half of the fun though?  If you spot any of these, please either comment here or on the facebook page and let your fellow Cellmates know where they can be found.  Happy hunting!