"When I was 10 I let Jesus fuck me for the first time on
Halloween night. (EDITOR’S NOTE – He means his first viewing of The Exorcist. I
must clarify that we here at Son of Celluloid are not accusing Jesus of Michael Jacksoning with any
kids. The Lord has a hell of a legal
team.) After that epic night, my life
was changed and I went from dressing up in whatever costume was cool at the
time to becoming a creature of the night on a yearly basis. As the years went
on the tradition of Trick ‘R Treating was replaced with myself and my deviant
friends throwing pumpkins at cars, egging houses, & calling on spirits to
wreak havoc; all topped off with a viewing of Tim Curry as a sweet
transvestite. Once I hit high school it became tradition to skip school on
Halloween. We would start with a breakfast buffet followed by a visit to
Eddie’s Trick Shop in the Marietta Square where the Halloween spirit was
strong. We would then ride around blaring The Misfits (Danzig Era- Is there any
other????) and begin our evening activities of Haunted houses (these were
always a blast with the exception of Silo X- shame on you). The night always
ended with a marathon of essential horror classics and unspeakable partying
until the sun rose.
As the years have passed those nights of debauchery have
ceased. The last insane Halloween I had was when my wife and I went to a
costume party and I dressed as Santa. Big mistake!!!!! We didn’t know people
were bringing their kids and I was bombarded with requests for me to bring them
the coolest toys on Christmas morning. It was funny though as my wife went as a
Wet T shirt contest winner. That may be the only time anyone has ever seen
Santa taking shots from Ms. Claus’s cleavage. Hey Santa likes a nice set of
tits just like any other all-American man. At this point in my life Halloween is all
focused on the enjoyment that my two sons derive from the spectacle; the
costumes, candy, atmosphere and begging to stay up all night on a sugar high.
Halloween to me is the epicenter of my life. Once the
October breeze hits I can smell the season coming. It encapsulates all that I
am. From the childhood moments of getting that epic haul of candy to the dead
cats hanging from poles I will always remember Halloween. Oh and one last
Halloween anecdote… FUCK Ti West!"
27 days 'til Halloween, Halloween, Halloween. 27 days 'til Halloween, Silver Shamrock!
2 comments:
Fantastic. Haha
Hell yeah Brad, I remember you as Santa and M's bountiful breast that evening at my house, fun times for sure.
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