Review: I Spill Your Guts

Watching James Balsamo’s new flick, I Spill Your Guts, and to an extent his first film Hack Job, is kinda like having my most recent ex-girlfriend tell you a story. It’s a very “stream of consciousness” storytelling style. There is a central through line, and it will end up at the right place, but on the way there it will meander, split off, and follow tangents; weaving in and out of itself so many times that occasionally you forget what the actual story was until you unexpectedly find yourself back in it. The difference is, with I Spill Your Guts, at the end of the approximately hour and a half long experience, you are left entertained and glad that you went for the ride instead of just being glad it’s finally over. Also, I doubt the movie would get all butthurt if you start singing “The Neverending Story” at it. There is one similarity between the flick and one of (name withheld)’s grueling stories though, if you find that the movie isn’t working for you for one reason or another, you always have the option of just zoning out and focusing on the tits.

Synopsis: “Two friends Dennis and Joe join the military together. While on a routine mission, the two are quickly surrounded by enemy fire. When Joe stands up in the line of fire to run, Dennis pushes him out of the way and takes a bullet in the throat. Dennis wakes up in hospital to find Joe rewarded as a hero. Joe told a lie and took all the glory, and Dennis was left as a mute from the accident. Dennis can't talk, but actions speak louder then words. The two return home to N.Y. and now the war rages in the streets. Dennis wants revenge on Joe, so he will kill everyone close to him. One little lie will cost so many innocent lives.”

One of the things I enjoy about finding a director early on in their career is watching the evolution of their work. I really enjoyed Hack Job (REVIEW) as a first feature, and it’s interesting to see Balsamo’s progression as a filmmaker. One of the main differences between the two movies is that this time Balsamo went for a single story instead of an anthology. To be honest, with how “all over the place” Hack Job was, I had my doubts as to whether or not he could pull off a feature length plotline. He does so quite well actually. As I mentioned, it does swerve all over the path, and we see the writer/director’s penchant for asides like showing a music video in the middle of the flick or a scene involving wrestling that has nothing to do with the central plot, but it’s not a problem. He definitely makes it work and the central story stays strong. In I Spill Your Guts, the schizophrenic energy of Hack Job has actually gelled into a legitimate, discernable filmmaking style. Those who subscribe to auteur film theory could make an interesting study out of Balsamo. He even manages to skillfully use social commentary without becoming preachy, a feat that some of the genre’s old masters even have trouble pulling off.

While it does maintain a sense of humor, ISYG is far less silly than HJ. The story of a veteran coming home from war and turning psychotic and homicidal is not exactly new. That motif has been used in films like Forced Entry, Combat Shock, Death Dream, The Ravager, The Exterminator, Targets, Cannibal Apocalypse, Bayou, and others. The “revenge for stolen glory” angle is a new twist, however, which is always appreciated in the often derivative world of low budget filmmaking. Not only is the story fresh, but The American Executioner (who Balsamo also portrays) is a great character. The camo army jacket paired with that genius American flag mask is a look that stands side by side with some of the classic slashers of horror history. I would like to see him return, as I think the character has franchise potential.

Another thing I dug about this flick was the gritty New York City atmosphere. The film manages to capture that seedy, grimy, dangerous, 42^nd Street quality of a bygone era of the Big Apple. It’s the same atmosphere that helped make films like Maniac, Basket Case, Frankenhooker, and Driller Killer so good. The sleaze is palpable. It’s something I haven’t seen done right in a horror flick since the ACTUAL grindhouse era, and it’s impressive that this one was able to pull it off.

The sleaze factor is, of course, helped by the fact that there is a copious amount of nudity. We never go more than a few minutes without some eye candy. The movie is bursting with bountiful bare breasts and flush with full frontal fun. James, you’ve definitely got a good handle on the basics buddy.

The soundtrack will be a polarizing feature of the flick. Metalheads will love it. Others, maybe not so much. Some will say that the soundtrack overpowers the movie, but I contend that this soundtrack is so integral to the film that it is a character in and of itself. Featuring metal bands like Cannabis Copse, Suffocation, Ghoul, Mausoleum, Skeletonwitch, and way too many more to list, this is definitely the best movie soundtrack since, well, James’s last movie. For the horror punk lovers like me, there are also contributions from Calabrese, Order of the Fly, Thee Flanders, Nightmare Sonata, and the almighty Bloodsucking Zombies From Outer Space. Trust me, this flick could attain cult classic status based on its music alone.

As is becoming his trademark, Balsamo has jam-packed I Spill Your Guts with cameos. Of course Uncle Lloyd is in there. Dave Brockie (aka Oderus Urungus from GWAR), Debbie Rochon, and Lynn Lowery also make a return. We get cameos by the incomparable John Link (Spiderbabe, The Collective vol. 2) and Tim Dax (Mr. Bricks, CSI). Andrew W.K. drops in to get his head split. The movie features some great independent film directors in acting roles, like Joel Reed (Blood Sucking Freaks, Bloodbath), Tim Ritter (the criminally underrated Truth or Dare series), and Donald Farmer (I Will Dance On Your Grave: Cannibal Hookers, Savage Vengeance). We even get to see ECW legend Balls Mahoney nearly cave someone’s skull in with a steel chair. These cameos run the gamut from a five second long non-sequitur (Brockie) to a major role in the story (Rochon), and playing “spot the cameo” makes for an additional dimension of fun for the viewer.

As far as the gore goes, it was damn good. Really damn good. Some of the kills are downright brutal, and that “getting head” scene was a classic. The final kill in the junkyard was awesome. I love that the effects were all practical, and they look great. There were a couple of kills that occurred mainly off screen though, and a couple that looked clipped for some reason. I understand that it was probably a budget thing. Like I said, there is plenty of gore on display, but with a title like I Spill Your Guts, I kinda expected an over the top, “paint the entire set red,” full on Das Kommabrutale style splatterfest. Then again, I’m horror-jaded as hell, and there’s no such thing as enough gore in my mind (I think Dead Alive still could have used more blood), so take that with a big ‘ol grain of salt. I do tend to ask for far too much as far as the grue goes.

The only thing I can really call this flick out on is the sound. Just like its predecessor, there are issues with the sound mix. The musical interludes are far louder than the dialog scenes, and the transition can be jarring. That needed to me smoothed out some. Seriously, that’s the only thing I didn’t like here. Well, there is the fact that the opening news footage was re-used later in the movie. That was kinda redundant. Other than those two things it was all good. Sure, there is some shaky cam, but the vast majority of it is first person, so it makes sense. That’s more than I can say for a lot of big budget studio releases these days. Sure a few of the performances are amateurish, but that’s to be expected, and the really good performances (especially the one by newcomer Billy Walsh) more than make up for that. Now if they would just fix that damn sound.

Random Thought #1: I absolutely love the Acid Bath Productions title animation. Love it. It cracks me up no matter how many times I see it.

Random Thought #2: All of the grammar in the text was right this time. Excellent.

Random Thought #3: Kelli Lynn Sage, who plays Heather, is insanely hot.

I had a blast watching this film, and I mean every word of praise I’ve given it, but I would be remiss if I didn’t throw out the same warning I did with Balsamo’s last flick. This is a “Video Fringe” film. Read the Hack Job review if you don’t know that term. It’s not glossy, it’s not “state of the art” from a technical standpoint, and it isn’t mainstream. It doesn’t have big budget gloss. It doesn’t have the current star from that CW teen drama. It doesn’t have contrived, safe scares. You know what else it doesn’t have? CGI. I love that. What it does have is originality, heart, soul, and balls. It also has some awesome death scenes and a killer soundtrack. Oh, and boobs. Can’t forget the boobs. What I’m saying is this, if you can’t get beyond the sanitized, hollow, cookie cutter drivel that studios are trying to pass off as “indie horror flicks” these days, then this probably isn’t for you. If you love a low budget, rough around the edges, fun as hell, truly independent horror flick with a head on its shoulders and another on the sidewalk, you will dig I Spill Your Guts just like I did. I can’t wait to see what Acid Bath serves up next. Both Hack Job and I Spill Your Guts are currently available from Wild Eye Releasing (LINK). One and a half severed thumbs up. Nathan says check it out.

Review: South of Heaven

This review originally appeared at filmarcade.net.

Have you ever seen a movie and wondered how it was pitched or what the Initial production meetings looked like? In the case of South of Heaven, I can see it as clear as day. This probably didn’t happen, but it’s my review, so I get to imagine it the way I want to, dammit. Picture, if you will, a bird’s eye view of a table in the middle of a room dimly lit by a single naked light bulb above the table. Half empty whiskey bottles litter the table, and cigarettes smolder in ashtrays. As we pull in to see people sitting around the table, the sounds of arguing grow louder. One man says, “We should make a comic book movie!” Another retorts, “No, we should make a neo-noir crime flick.” Yet another interjects, “I say we make a western!” Someone else pipes up “But I want to make a black comedy.” We cut to a POV shot from the head of the table as everyone continues to argue, talking at once. Over the din of the spirited discussion, someone clears their throat. Everyone falls silent and looks toward the camera. A man sits back in a chair, his features hidden in the shadows. “Gentlemen…” he says as he leans forward, revealing writer/director J.L. Vara, “…why don’t we just make them all?” One of the other men looks panicked and says “But we only have the money to make one movie!” An extreme close up of Vara’s mouth reveals a sly grin crossing his lips as he says “I know.”

Synopsis: When Roy Coop finished his stint in the Navy, he only had two things on his mind: seeing his brother Dale, and writing the great American novel. What he gets, however, is the homecoming from Hell! A pair of violent vaudevillians (NAPOLEON DYNAMITE’s Jon Gries, and Thomas Jay Ryan) mistake Roy for his brother, looking to collect on a debt he didn’t know he owed. Eight fingers later, Roy is burnt to a crisp, forged by fire into a new man. Roy is dead. Nobody is born. Now it’s Nobody’s turn to have his wicked revenge, and to save his brother before it’s too late. Wrapped in bandages and ready for blood, Nobody is determined to kill those that get in his way, even the murdering masochist named Mad Dog Mantee (Shea Whigham, MACHETE and HBO’s BOARDWALK EMPIRE). Dodging bullets and dodging dames, Nobody meets the nasty ne’er-do-wells Lily (Diora Baird, THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE: THE BEGINNING) and Veronica (Elina Lowensohn, SCHINDLER’S LIST). In this wonderful neo-film-noir, violence and vengeance are sure to meet in a little town they call… South of Heaven.

There are three things that make South of Heaven something special. The first one, which will reach out and grab you immediately, is the visual style. I can honestly say that I’ve never seen anything like it. It’s like a comic/noir/western/euro/kids book. One of the major factors that played in to the great look of the film is that it was shot on 35mm film. It has a warm, textured, film look that is so much better than digital. The main reason the flick has such a unique look, however, is that everything is manufactured on set and in camera. There is no CGI and no green screen. It’s all painted backdrops and rear projection and practical effects. The colors are vibrant, and the animated sequences are great. The comic book look reminded me a bit of Dick Tracy. The lush palate serves as a nice counter point to the sometimes very dark, violent story.

The set design deserves special mention. The house we spend the first portion of the film in is gorgeous. It has a black and white motif, bringing the noir aspects to mind, but strangely Lina Romay would not look out of place at all lounging around naked on that set in a 70’s Jess Franco Eurosleaze film. There are no actual exteriors in the film, all of the outside shots are shot on a sound stage. The painted desert (pun intended) backdrop to the outdoor shots at Mad Dog’s hideout and the town of South of Heaven smacks of the Loony Tunes desert populated by Wiley Coyote and the Roadrunner. The interiors of the cabin where most of the action in the second half takes place would look equally at home in a horror flick as it would a western. These sets never look realistic, lending the movie a dreamlike quality that makes it truly unique. It kinda feels like someone painted bold watercolors in a coloring book and set a demented little movie in it.

The second thing, and the one that absolutely blew me away in this movie is the acting. The casting is perfect, particularly the centerpiece of the movie, Shea Wigham. Holy shit he is amazing in this flick. I mean, this is award worthy acting. I was only previously familiar with him from Boardwalk Empire. No, I haven’t seen Wristcutters, yes I know I should, and no you’re not the first person to tell me that, so give it a rest. Anyway, he positively owns the screen every moment he is on it. Mark my words, once Shea breaks into the upper echelon of the acting business where he belongs, this will be that early indie gem of his that people go back, discover, rave about, and try to claim that they saw it and recognized his talent “before the mainstream did”; so catch this flick now before the hipsters discover it in a couple of years.

The supporting cast is phenomenal too. The brothers Nee are good as the brothers Coop. Jon Gries and Thomas Jay Ryan are hilarious as a pair of Vaudevillian villains. I mean hilarious. I would love to see them as recurring characters in other movies. The beautiful Diora Baird (Night of the Demons remake, Stan Helsing, etc.) gives the best performance of her career, and Elina Lowensohn is pitch perfect as the classic film fatale vamp. I was ecstatic to see Joe Unger, best known as Tinker from Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3, show up. He’s always a welcome addition. Hell, we even get a cameo from none other than George “The Animal” Steele.

The third thing is the screenplay. As good as J.L. Vara is as a director, I think his true gift is his writing. His script is almost as much of the star of this flick as Whigham is. The dialog is simply genius. It’s on par with any dialog Quentin Tarantino or Kevin Smith has ever written. I know that’s a heavy statement, but it’s true. At times it almost seems to have been written for the stage. There’s one speech that Mad Dog gives about a dancing chicken that is absolutely one of the best soliloquies I’ve seen in a movie since…well, ever. Like I said, the actors do a bang up job, but a significant amount of the credit for the success of the characters has to go to the masterful writing.

There are a couple of missteps in the flick, though. Some of the makeup, particularly the prosthetics in the early attacks on Nothing, look great. Some of the makeup, however, looks terrible. I can understand that possibly being a budgetary issue, but I’ve seen better burned faces done with stuff from Party City. Near the end of the movie there’s a section where Mad Dog leaves Dale and Lily alone in the cabin for a while, and these scenes drag, causing some real pacing issues. Cutting them by a couple of minutes would have helped immensely. Then again, Mad Dog is such a great character and Whigham is such a great actor that maybe it’s just his abrupt absence that these scenes suffer from. There was also one directorial choice I didn’t dig. There are references to 80’s music spread throughout the movie. Early on in South of Heaven there is a stylized instrumental version of a song by The Cure used. From there on, I was listening to the score and trying to catch other songs. The problem is, there aren’t any as far as the score goes. The characters sing the other songs. I found it distracting to play name that tune with the score without there being a payoff. I would have used the Cure song later in the flick, but maybe that’s just me.

As usual, Synapse gives us a nice DVD package. We’ve got a nice transfer of the movie. I can’t speak for the Blu-ray, but the DVD preserves the great look of the 35mm film. As far as the special features, we’ve got not one, not two, but THREE commentaries; one with the filmmakers, one with the cast, and one with some critics. We also get three of Vara’s short films; Miserable Orphan, Azole Dkmuntch, and A Boy And His Fetus. They’re all entertaining on their own and show the progression towards the skill he would show in the feature.

Random Thought: There’s one scene that, when I saw it, I wondered if it was an homage to a 1978 flick that I love called Blue Sunshine. On the commentary, Vara confirms that it was. I like him even more now.

I go back and forth from wondering what these guys could have done with a budget and being glad they didn’t have one. Half of me would love to see what these filmmakers and their stylistic sensibilities would have done with a couple million dollars. However, I think a lot of the film’s look that I enjoyed so much was a product of the inventiveness and ingenuity that comes with having to stretch $4000 enough to make a whole movie. Yes, I said $4,000. No, I didn’t forget any zeroes.

South of Heaven is exactly what I’m looking for when I pop in a no budget indie flick; something that can’t afford to show me what Hollywood can, so instead they show me something I’ve never seen before, which I would rather see any day. To call South of Heaven quirky would be like calling Gary Busey slightly eccentric, but it doesn’t try to get along on that quality alone. It’s well made and amazingly written. What I wanna know is how something like this takes four years to get distribution (it was made in 2008) but crap like Chernobyl Diaries goes from idea to screen in a year. In other words, this flick is a clear illustration of what’s right with indie filmmaking today and what’s wrong with Hollywood. One and a half severed thumbs up. Nathan says check it out. Ok, I was a good boy and resisted all during the review, but I can’t hold it back anymore… Before you see the light, you must diiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeee!

Son of Celluloid is Maynard Morrisey's Horror Blog of the Month

Every month Maynard Morrissey's Horror Movie Diary chooses a horror blog to bestow the honor of being Horror Blog of the Month upon. In the past they've recognized such luminaries as Horror Movie a Day, Zombies Don't Run, Back Online Back on Duty, Full Moon Reviews, and The Girl Who Loves Horror. Well folks, I'm proud to say that this month, it's SOC's turn in the spotlight. Yes folks, Son of Celluloid joins the illustrious list as July's Horror Blog of the Month. Click on that picture below to be transported to the interview I did with Mr. Morrissey. While you're there, take a look around, because there's a lot of awesome going on over there. Thank you to Maynard, thank you to all of the Cellmates, and "Welcome" to you folks checking SOC out for the first time. Stick around, I promise we don't bite...

Review: Rites of Spring

Ah Spring, when a young man’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of kidnapping and murder. IFC’s horror flick Rites of Spring hits VOD tomorrow, and it’s a little slice of old school. That doesn’t mean that it’s a “throwback.” Thankfully, that also doesn’t mean that they slapped some fake film defects on it and dared to call it “grindhouse.” What it means is that it had old school sensibilities. The audience isn’t in on the joke, because there’s no joke. It is what it is, and for better or for worse, we’re along for the ride. It’s not breaking any new ground, but it has enough fun with the familiar ground it’s treading that what we get is a fun slasher romp with a caper flick thrown in for good measure. Now if they had just fleshed out the story (and ending) a bit…

Synopsis: A group of kidnappers abduct the daughter of a wealthy socialite and hide out in an abandoned school in the middle of the woods. But feelings of guilt soon overtake the kidnappers, dividing the group and putting their entire plan in jeopardy. The evening further spirals out of control when their poorly chosen hideout becomes a hunting ground for a mysterious creature that requires springtime ritualistic sacrifices.

What we have here are two parallel stories. On one hand we have the story of two girls that get abducted by a weirdo and held hostage in a barn. No, that isn’t a spoiler; it’s in the opening scene. Relax. The other is the story of the kidnapping caper going down, complete with complications and conflicts of its own. Stories of criminals who end up running afoul of something bigger or badder than them are not new in horror. Films like Psycho, Cannibal Ferrox, The Collector, Malevolence, Last House on the Left, From Dusk Til Dawn, and Dear God No have all pulled gold from that mine before. I love how Rites of Spring keeps you off kilter and guessing though. These two stories not only belong to two different genres, but they honestly feel like two different movies. It’s like you’re flipping the channel between a crime thriller and a horror flick. That may sound like it would cause tonal problems, but it works. The thing that makes it work is that the viewer knows good and well that at some point these two disparate tales have to intersect. Until about two minutes before it happens, we have no idea how these two stories are going to come together. When they do, it is a beauty of an out of the blue, “well isn’t that convenient, what the hell, really?” moment. It’s one step away from “Oh, hey guys, didn’t see you there. By the way, that dude’s gonna kill us all.”

At that point in most current neo-stalk and slash movies, the flick would wink-wink-nudge-nudge at the audience and say “Hey, did you see what we did there? Ridiculous, isn’t it? That’s ‘cause we’re old school.” Sorry guys, that’s not old school. Rites of Spring has no wink-wink-nudge-nudge to it at all. No snarky self-awareness. The viewer looks at ROS and says “I get it” and ROS looks back stonefaced and says “Get what?” That’s because Rites of Spring, while it may not be all that old school in style, is as old school as it gets in its sensibilities. It plays everything completely straight instead of doing the “watch what we do with the horror clichés” thing. The clichés are there. The characters do things that no rational person with half a brain would do. We have the “chick cowers covering her mouth in the foreground while the blurry killer moves in the background” shot. We have the “closeup of murder implement being drug along the wall” shot. It’s all here folks, and it’s all welcome. That’s because it’s done with a purity and no-joke honesty that a lot of horror flicks don’t have these days. What also comes with being old school is an absolutely great score. This is how they used to do horror music, and it’s nice to hear it revisited, because it’s damn effective. Score isn’t something I notice all that often, but this one really impressed me.

Speaking of old school, we’ve got another one of the hallmarks of old school slasher flicks, a cool ass killer. See that ugly mug over to the left? That’s Wormface. Wormface is awesome. Get a good look at that picture of Wormface. That’s concept art that was released to promote the flick. It’s also a WAY better look at him than we ever get in the movie. He dresses in and keeps his face covered with rags, so for most of the film he kinda looks like a homeless mummy. He also has a great weapon. I’ve always looked at those and wondered why they haven’t been used more in movies. Although the flick is pretty light on the gore, Ol’ Wormey is pretty brutal with that thing. My question is; what the hell do you call one of those? It looks like the lovechild brought forth by the unholy union of an axe and a scythe. If any of the Cellmates comments and tells me what that thing is called, then you win my eternal gratitude. That’s worth something, right? Anyway, not only is he cool looking, but I liked the way they built up to the reveal. Not gonna go into detail, but it’s done nicely.

You know what isn’t built up nicely? The backstory. The scuttlebutt around the online horror world is that this is planned as the first part of a trilogy. That’s all well and good, but the first part of a trilogy has to be able to stand on its own while still leaving questions. In this flick, the audience is told just enough to know what’s going on, but nowhere close to enough to understand what’s going on. How are some of these characters connected? How does this whole sacrifice thing work? Who the hell is Wormface? Who the hell is The Stranger? Why did the killings stop for a while? Why are thet starting back? We really needed at least a little bit of backstory. You don’t have to tell us everything, but for the love of hell, tell us something. First time writer and director Padraig Reynolds is obviously planning on answering these questions in the sequel. Sometimes that’s ok. For example, one of my favorite recent slasher flicks, Laid to Rest, did that. They left the explanation of Chromeskull’s motivation, identity, and purpose for the sequel too, but they also didn’t throw as many ideas out there as Rites of Spring did. The story in this flick just felt too thin to hold up all of the plot points it was teasing us with without leaving the viewer feeling a little cheated. LTR also felt like a self-contained unit because it had an ending. That movie stopped at a logical point that left questions, but the story was, for the moment at least, over. Rites of Spring ended mid scene. No resolution, nothing. It just stopped. Just like The Devil Inside did. Just like Supernatural season finales are fond of doing. I hate that. The ending pissed me off. Look at Halloween. Nothing was resolved there, and Halloween 2 started where 1 left off, but there was an air of finality at the end of 1. If you’re just going to stop out of nowhere, call the flick Rites of Spring: Episode 1 or something so we know what we’re getting into.

The acting was exceptional for an indie slasher movie, especially from the people I expected it to be good from. I really like AJ Bowen, and not just because he’s a local boy. He impressed me in The Signal, Hatchet 2, and House of the Devil, and he turns in a commendable performance here. His Signal co-star Anessa Ramsey is a classic survivor girl. Her performance is good, however she should never cry in a movie. Her cry is incredibly annoying. She was entertaining when she wasn’t crying. When she was, I almost wished this was WAY old school so someone could just slap her and shut her up. Marco St. John was awesome as “The Stranger.” You may remember him from a horrible flick that I love called Vicious. No? How about Dylan Dog: Dead of Ni…wait, nevermind. No one saw that flick. Well, he’s good in Rites of Spring. The rest of the cast is varying degrees of decent, from Sonny Marinelli’s effectively scummy heavy to Sarah Pachelli’s near catatonic kidnapped little girl. She may as well have been listed as a prop.

Overall, the movie looked pretty good. For a first timer, Reynolds shows some skill in the director’s chair, and I’m interested to see where he goes from here. Cinematographer Carl Herse (hey, that’s not how you spell hearse) has a good eye for shots and a nice sense of visual flair. Visually, the only problem is wobbly cam. In this one, though, it didn’t look so much like it was intentional as it was just a product of handheld shooting. So the question begs to be asked; why shoot handheld? I can understand in tracking shots. Hell, they masked the shaking perfectly during the cornfield chase. What? Oh come on, that doesn’t count as a spoiler. If there’s a cornfield, anyone who’s ever seen a horror flick could tell you that someone’s getting chased through it at some point. Chill out. Anyway, there is absolutely no excuse for a static shot of someone talking to be wobbling. When I was taking notes on this flick, the first one I wrote down was, and I quote, “Use a goddamn tripod for static shots and simple pans.” That’s good advice if I do say so myself. Steady camera work just looks more professional boys. I know I rant about shaky camera work a lot, so I’ll leave it at that this time. Did I mention that the cinematography was good and that the film doesn’t look low budget at all?

Aside from the story thinness and the wobbly camera work, I enjoyed this flick. It was refreshing to see a horror flick take itself seriously, warts and all, for once. Straight horror flicks are becoming more rare as indie horror trends towards the self-referential and “meta.” Rites of Spring is helping keep that old school attitude alive, and I’m really looking forward to the further adventures of Wormface. There are some problems with this flick, but it definitely does more than enough things Rite…er, right. Dammit. I keep doing that. Somewhere just barely shy of one and a half severed thumbs up. Nathan says check it out.

Review: Ratline

I love Nazis. There, I said it. I love Nazis. Now before you either go all torch wielding mob on my ass or start Seig Heil-ing me and invite me to your next skinhead party, let me explain. I love Nazis in movies. Has there ever been a better villain? The connotations they carry, the pure evil they represent, the legends you can play on, and the potential for sheer weirdness make them almost can’t fail exploitation and horror fodder. Nazi zombies? I’m in. Nazi-sploitation sleaze? Sign me up. Nazis keeping Hitler’s brain alive in a jar? I’m there. Nazi human experiments? Lets do it.. Nazis running afoul of ghosts? Oh hell yeah. People hunting down Nazis? Count me in. Hell, you can have Nazi teddy bears sniffing flowers for an hour, and I’ll watch it. You start mixing in the whole Nazi Occult thing and you’ve got me hook, line, and sinker. In other words, there’s no way I couldn’t watch Wicked Pixel’s Ratline, and I’m glad that I did.

Synopsis: In a flash of blood-drenched violence, Crystal Brewer’s life has taken an unexpected turn. On the run from the law for her part in a gruesome drug-money heist gone wrong, she has become seduced into a seedy underworld of death and betrayal. Escaping into the night with her half-sister Kim, Crystal seeks refuge in a small Midwestern town to make sense of her life-threatening ordeal. However, any plans for solace are soon derailed when she crosses paths with Frank Logan, a mysterious stranger with a bloody history of his own. Crystal’s initial intrigue with Logan’s sinister allure soon gives way to sheer terror as his vile intentions for her are revealed. As a new wave of violence threatens to destroy those close to her, Crystal is forced to make a terrifying decision. Will she stop Logan before more innocent blood is spilled? Or will she join him in resurrecting an evil that could consume the world?

Before Ratline I had only seen two flicks directed by Eric Stanze; Scrapbook, which I was very impressed with, and I Spit On Your Corpse, I Piss On Your Grave, which I was, um, less impressed with. Both of these were quite extreme in both the sex and violence departments, so I was expecting more of the same. Ratline actually ended up being more restrained. There is some pretty hardcore violence mind you, including a lot of beheadings and copious amounts of the red stuff, but the violence wasn’t of as much of a depraved nature as in the other flicks I’d seen. Perhaps this is due to the fact that it was missing a lot of the sexual aspects of the violence. Dammit, now I have that old Bush song stuck in my head.

The movie was actually extremely restrained in the sexual department compared to the two afore mentioned flicks. Yes, there’s both female and male full frontal nudity, which seems to be a prerequisite in a Stanze film, but there isn’t much sexual content. In fact, there was one moment where I was sure we were going to go full on lezbo-palooza, but instead we pulled back and had an awkward, yet tender, almost cute moment. As disappointed as I was at the lack of girl on girl lovin’, I think it’s a good direction for Stanze. I’ve seen him decried by some critics as just a “shock value” director. With Ratline, he proves that he’s much more than that. From his work that I’ve seen, and what I understand of his work that I haven’t, this is his most …I hesitate to use this term because of its negative connotations…mainstream work to date. It’s dark, gritty, violent, and intense enough for extreme horror fans, but it’s also accessible and engaging enough to draw in some of the more casual fans. That’s a very difficult line to walk, and Ratline does it quite deftly.

This flick crams a lot of stuff into the story. That’s one of the things I love about independent horror, these kind of convoluted stories make for some truly unique plots. We’ve got two women on the lam from criminals they screwed over and the conflict between them, we’ve got a quasi-immortal Nazi hunting for a mystical artifact, we’ve got a satanic cult, and we’ve even got a love story. I know, I know. When a horror flick has a subplot involving a love story, 137 times out of 138 it’s some clichéd, shoehorned in crap that ends up being the weak link of the movie. This time, it actually worked for me. One of the main reasons it works is because the two ladies involved are both studies in how to successfully pull off their character archetypes. I warn you guys, I’m about to go off on one of those “over-analytical tangents” I’m prone to. It can be really tricky to use vulnerability and sensitivity to elicit sympathy for a character and get the audience behind them and not overdo it to the point that the audience turns on them. The characters of Crystal and Penny, however, are perfect examples of how to do it right with two often poorly used character archetypes.

On one end you have Crystal. Crystal is a bad ass, but has the air of someone whose toughness is born out of being broken. How many times have we seen that done badly? How many “I’m tough because I’m too tortured to let people in” ridiculous characters have you seen? Right, millions. Well, Crystal here is the perfect mixture. She seems like the kind of gal who will absolutely f**k you up if she has to. We have some quiet moments with her, however, where her more sensitive side comes out. We don’t need one of those overwrought moments where the tortured tough gal breaks down, it’s all done more subtly. Part of that is due to Crystal being a well written character, but a lot of it has to do with the great performance of Stanze’s frequent collaborator, the immensely talented Emily Haack. I was absolutely blown away by her starring turn in Scrapbook, and here she is no less effective. One thing that has always impressed me is her fearlessness as an actress and her willingness to seemingly do ANYTHING for the good of a film. That’s the mark of a true artist right there folks. While she apparently wasn’t asked to go to the extremes she did in Scrapbook or Corpse, she maintains an impressive amount of intensity and nuance. Her face (her eyes in particular) has an amazing haunted look, and she can portray multiple conflicting emotions simultaneously without saying a word. Why major studios aren’t fighting over her is a mystery to me.

The other half of our romance is Penny, played by Sarah Swofford. Penny is one of those naïve, doe-eyed, babe in the woods type of characters. We’ve all known that person who has never experienced the darker side of humanity, so when they finally encounter it, they’re not prepared to deal with it. That’s Penny. The problem that often arises with this kind of character is that when they’re handled incorrectly, they either come across as wimps or idiots, and I have trouble mustering up much sympathy for either. Penny is neither. She shows that she’s willing to fight; she just doesn’t know what to do. When she makes some dumb choices, it doesn’t feel like she’s stupid; it feels like she’s a sheltered girl who doesn’t know any better. The role is also perfectly played by Swofford. She is the perfect counterpart to Crystal, and Swofford and Haack have great onscreen chemistry. This was the first time I’ve seen Sarah, and I hope to see much more of her. Hey now, I didn’t mean it that way pervert. Actually, maybe I did, she is pretty damn hot. Multiple meanings? Anyway, moving on…

Jason Christ co wrote the screenplay with Stanze as well as portraying our villain Frank. While I think the screenplay is great and I don’t have a single bad thing to say in that department, unfortunately I think he missed the mark with his performance, but only by this much. I know you can’t see me, but I’m doing that “fingers about an inch apart to indicate a very narrow margin” thing. Don’t get me wrong; he’s not bad by any means. I can see what he was going for. He wanted Frank to have that low-key, quiet, cold evil. I’m cool with that. In some parts it’s spot on. At times though, I think he under-acted the part a little, making it occasionally seem kinda flat and wooden. I’m not saying that he should have gone all out crazy Nazi like most people do when portraying them. That’s exactly what he seemed to be trying to avoid, and I like that approach. I just think tweaking the character a bit to make him a little more animated and show hints of that underlying psycho would have made it a little more compelling.

I thought it was an interesting choice to give the Nazi backstory via an “old” educational film instead of expositional dialog or a flashback. I can see where some people would argue that it stops the momentum of the movie, but I don’t think so. It’s cool to almost leave the main plot for a second and have a cool little vignette play out. It’s both outside of the narrative but still in the story. Really innovative idea. I like that we didn’t keep cutting back and forth to reaction shots from the characters throughout this sequence either; we just watched the old footage straight through. That footage looked very convincing. A whole movie in that mockumentary style might be too much, but here it added a lot to the flick. Bravo.

For the most part, the camera work in Ratline is excellent. There is a lot of really cool, unique cinematography going on here. There is one thing I do have to call the Wicked Pixel guys out on however. It’s one of my two major pet peeves in modern horror filmmaking. I’ll give you a hint; it’s not CGI. Actually, there really isn’t much of that as far as I can tell. The gore is done with practical effects and it looks fantastic. That means my issue with the flick is…lets all say it together…shaky cam! It doesn’t rear its ugly head until the action sequences, and then all of a sudden the camera has a seizure for no good reason. In the rest of the flick, Stanze proves to be a skilled cinematographer, that he has the ability to set up some gorgeous shots, and that he understands the concept of interesting, motivated camera movement. Why adopt a technique normally used to hide the fact that the filmmakers don’t know what the hell they’re doing when filming action sequences? Come on man, you’re better than that.

Random Thought: Hey Wicked Pixel, you really should sell those little wind up Grim Reapers from your logo. I want one dammit!

Probably the number one thing I can say in favor of this flick is that it’s truly original, and that’s not something I can say about most horror flicks I see. Yeah, certain plot elements are real head scratchers, but it’s a flick about occult Nazis man, just go with it. Trust me, you’ll enjoy the ride. The story draws you in, the effects look fantastic, and the acting is well above the usual low budget horror level. After watching this, I now definitely need to go back and fill in the gaps I haven’t seen in Stanze’s filmography like Savage Harvest, Ice From the Sun, and Deadwood Park. I dug Ratline a lot. This is indie horror done Reich…I mean right. One and a half severed thumbs up. Nathan says check it out.

420 Reviews: Monster Brawl, Chernobyl Diaries, & The Raven

It's time for another round of 420 reviews. In case you missed it last time, that doesn't mean I'm writing stoned. I very well may have watched the movies stoned, but it doesn't have anything to do with that. it has to do with the fact that when I used to write reviews on facebook before the blog came about, I was limited to 420 characters. Now it's like a game. I actually managed to make each of these EXACTLY 420 characters. So, without further ado, it's 420 time!

Monster Brawl:

I wanted to love this movie, but I only kinda liked it. If you’re a diehard horror and wrestling fan like me, there’s fun to be had, but it drags at times. An actual backstory and better fight choreography would have helped. Some of the monsters look great, especially Frankenstein. Best part of the flick is Lance Henriksen’s Shao Kahn impression. The way he says “Witch Bitch” is priceless. 1 severed thumb up.

Chernobyl Diaries:

This is everything I hate about current visual trends in horror cinema. If it isn’t a found footage flick, don’t shoot it like one dammit! There are only 2 likable characters in the whole thing. As far as scares, Leah didn’t even jump once, and that’s saying something. It had one inspired moment that I dug. Chernobyl is a FANTASTIC setting. I hope someone makes a good movie there someday. 1 severed thumb down.

The Raven:

Decent mystery flick with a Poe motif that should satisfy fans playing “spot the reference.” Cusack chews scenery with gusto, & Luke Evans is great. It needed more gore, but it also had some of the worst CGI blood I’ve EVER seen, so maybe restraint was a blessing after all. It’s ironic that a film about the master of suspense has none, but it doesn’t drag. Not great, but a fun little ride. 1 ½ severed thumbs up.

Dr. Terror's Italian Horror Week coming this Friday the 13th

As you wander through the mist, strange things start to happen. A heady scent of entrails and marinara drifts by on the breeze. You try to speak, but somehow your words don't match your mouth movements, and your voice seems to no longer be your own. Your world seems to be lit in vibrant primary colors that wash over the faces of rotting zombies, and beautiful women. Synthesizers assail your ears, mixed with the war cries of primitive cannibals. As you begin to worry that something horrible is about to happen to your eyeballs, a black gloved hand reaches for you from out of the darkness and you realize...it must be time for Italian Horror Week.
Starting Friday, July 13, it's time for a Spaghetti Splatter Spectacular as my horror homie Dr. Jimmy Terror hosts Italian Horror Week. It's a whole week dedicated to the best of Italian horror cinema featuring an insane lineup of giveaways, 3D, and guest articles from the best writers the online horror scene has to offer...and me. If you miss it, you will be impaled, plagued with maggot storms, and made to vomit up your entire intestinal tract. Well, maybe not, but you'll miss out on all of the fun, and that's just as bad. The Doc is hard at work preparing a sumptuous feast of gory goodness, so click on that picture up there to be magically transported to DR. TERROR'S BLOG OF HORRORS, where you can peruse a great site and get good and psyched up for Italian Horror Week!