The Horror Movie Darwin Awards # 25: Ellen Brody in Jaws 4: The Revenge

This one isn’t going to take long. The idiocy of this one doesn’t take a whole lot of explanation. Martin Brody, the hero that put Jaws down, has died. His widow, Ellen, thinks he had a heart attack due to fear of the shark returning. Apparently Jaws has become an 80’s style slasher now, because he starts going after the Brody family specifically.

If you had a huge killer shark that wanted you dead, where would you go? Nebraska? Utah? Kansas? Somewhere, oh, I don’t know, landlocked? You know, a place with no shoreline where a shark can’t get to you? I’ll tell you exactly where I wouldn’t be going…

The freakin’ Bahamas! It’s all beach! What the hell are you thinking? She wants to go convince her son to get a job on land. I do believe if I had Jaws after me, that convincing would be done over the phone. Ellen survives the film, but dammit, she shouldn’t have. That was just plain mind-numbingly stupid. Congratulations Ellen, you are today’s winner by virtue of your failure to grasp even the most rudimentary geography. Way to go dumbass!